And it’s not just some teenage girls around here who aren’t aware that less isn’t necessarily more. Recently we were out at dinner when a couple of tweens in itty bitty short dresses stopped by briefly to say hi to my daughter. I’ve seen nighties with better coverage!

Now here’s the thing that really gets me: I know darned well that they are buying these clothes at the mall (likely with their parents’ permission, but that’s a whole ‘nother topic). I know this for a fact because I’m always astonished by some of the outfits I see when I take my kid shopping to try to find some cool clothes (“cool” in the sense of “interesting”, not “cool” as in “you will definitely feel a breeze if you wear this outfit”). I won’t name any particular retailers, but let’s just say the ones that really appeal to middle-school girls. I’m sure you know which ones I’m talking about.

Available in girls size 5 and up!

Little bitty skirts that are so short that it looks like you are wearing nothing but a top with a ruffled edge on it. Really? String bikinis? Pajamas with a tank top that has spaghetti straps? Are you kidding me?! I’m honestly getting the impression that young ladies these days don’t think it’s any big deal to show off some skin.

I’m wondering if maybe it’s because they haven’t really developed a sense of context yet. After all, if you’re on the swim team you’re used to seeing all your friends soaking wet wearing nothing but a teensy amount of lycra several times a week, and it’s considered a wholesome environment. Maybe doing sports is where some of the lack of modesty is coming from? I can recall a time a few years ago when our teen babysitter came over straight from volleyball practice without changing first… I had never seen spandex shorts that short and tight before! They looked like black underpants! Apparently for her it didn’t seem at all inappropriate because, well, 20 minutes prior, it hadn’t been.

Whatever. Young ladies you can call me an old prude if you want. I don’t care. Just don’t complain to me when you catch cold…

Black lacy cami in girls’ sizes, I kid you not…

Nailed it.

Since my daughter is always in style, I thought she could help us old people figure out how to keep up, keep in, and keep looking fabulous.

What is the most important color to have in our wardrobe this Spring?

Well, yellow and maybe blue and a bit green.

Done.

What are the best patterns to compliment a look?

I think if you are going to a special place you should make it sparkly and wear your favorite colors but always have pink in it. Because pink is a pretty color for something. And maybe purple.

Special like a ninja party

How important is lipstick?

Not that important.

Shoes with glitter or without glitter?

Well, if you are going to a ball then you have to wear glitter on your shoes. But if you don’t have glittery shoes, wear regular shoes as long as they are high-heels and you’re a grown up. Or if you have permission.

Luckily, we have her covered.

What inspires you in creating your outfits?

I don’t have anything that inspires me. I just think of it, and I have it. I chose the shirt with the color I want and then I chose pants that match the shirt and a skirt that matches the shirt and pants. That’s it.

What’s the biggest fashion mistake you see?

Wearing brown and black without a skirt.

What’s trendier: long hair or short hair?

Long hair. But I’m not sure why.

Is brushing our hair worth it?

Yes even though I hate it because if you don’t brush your hair, your hair could get sick. So even if you don’t like to get your hair brushed, you have to or your hair will get sick.

In closing, this fashionista states, “For fashion, you inspire yourself.”

Thanks, my dear! I already look better.

I know how you should do your hair! Like Anna! -my kid

I had to go into public like this.

Now be a bratty, pink-haired princess. -my kid

This is how I performed the amazing play: Bedtime.

I know exactly how you’re supposed to wear a scarf. -my kid

At least I could finally call myself SUPER MOM.

Let’s match all the time. -my kid

Okay so this was kind of cute.

I have the perfect pajamas for you -my mom and obviously where my kids get their fashion sense

Don’t be jealous.

PS. It’s not only my family….

When you need fancy hair, let me help. -Pinterest

I did manage to fix it.

Never mind the fact that the Live Stream failed during Apple’s Product Reveal! What about Scarf Guy!? Nobody could get over Scarf Guy!

Teehee! Not just me, after all?

I would like to personally thank you, Scarf Guy. I would like to thank you for being a cultural lightning rod. It gives me the warm-fuzzies to know that people your age actually agree with me on this! I can now come out and openly admit it: I think the whole winter-accessories in warm weather thing is lame! I always have!

Up until now I have been keeping this to myself. Because, Lord knows, loudly disapproving of the younger generation’s weird fashion statements is a sure sign of middle age. I mean, I can’t help that I am middle-aged. But still, I try really hard not to act that way.

Now, to be fair, I realize that my generation had its own lame fashions too.

So anyways, this happened…

And at the same time dudes, I know the only reason that you wear what you wear must be because chicks think it’s cool, so I blame them equally.

I’ve seen some bizarre scenarios with this winter-accessory thing, like the time I saw a guy wearing a beanie AT THE COMMUNITY POOL in 90 degree weather (and he was with a cute chick, so there you go). What made it even funnier is when he took it off to go swimming, and his mom swooped in and grabbed it and put it on, while her friends giggled and took pictures of her. Was he steamed! He came straight out of the water, snatched it off her head, and said, “Stop it! That looks dumb!” Then he indignantly put it back on over his wet hair. (No sense of irony, apparently.)

So, yes, I honestly think winter accessories are a really dumb idea three seasons out of the year. And I am telling you from experience that you guys are going to look at your old photos years later, and wince.

But at the same time guys, I get it. All this is not really your fault. If chicks dug kilts, you’d all be wearing skirts.

…Probably in the winter.

My slippers are the best place to begin.

I already swear by the UGG Rylan Slipper all over the Internet mostly because they are not only a hug for my feet, they have soles so I can wear them everywhere even accidentally to a parent-teacher conference. While not cheap, I’ve had these slippers for so long and worn them so often that I’ve practically made money on them. I adore them except in the dead of summer when I’m forced to wear flip-flops even when comfortable and will continually replace mine with the exact same pair until I’m buried in them.

But sweatpants have not been so easily won. I thought I had found the greatest pair after I discovered these high-waisted beauties:

My dog is confused by my comfort.

I bought a second pair in pink when I became paranoid that C&C California would discontinue them. (And they did so I’m going to be playing the lottery next week.) I love these sweatpants and dread the day the frayed bottoms make it up to the top. However, once the weather hits 70 degrees, they’re too hot with the fleece lining. And I still need to take my comfort in spring and summer.

Of course, I had my summer sweatpants but they were just run of the mill — one pair of capri sweats to show off a foot of unshaven leg and one pair of thin, flared, no-pockets sweatpants that just made me long for colder weather when I could go back to the embrace of my fleece version. (By happenstance, the no-pockets, no-love sweats are actually pictured in the slipper photo. So sad.)

I thought all was lost and I’d just have to wear leggings forever until I found a pair of Old Navy sweatpants for a fraction of the price of my fleece ones and without their lining issues. These are billed as “skinny sweatpants,” which made me hesitate to buy them because what the heck is the worst version of jeans doing in fabulous sweats? But I went for it because the reviews would not stop raving in all the right places about these amazing pants.

Sorry for the photo quality. My iPhone must’ve been too relaxed in the face of these sweatpants, but I included a link above to Old Navy.

Oh my gawd, I thank my lucky stars I listened. They are fantastic. The first time I put them on, I didn’t take them off for days and was sad to spend a few hours away while they washed and dried. I’m considering purchasing them in all the colors because that covers my week. In fact, this post was inspired by the kind gift those reviewers gave me by inspiring this purchase with their words. I’m giving back.

And now that I’m relaxed from the waist down, I only need a soft, breathable, loose-but-not-too-loose shirt to win the day. At this point, I swear by any thick cotton T-shirt over four years old to top off my outfit of repose, but I’m open to suggestions.

So here’s an easily attainable nautical inspired look.   These 6 pieces you can easily pick up, find or order to create a really cute outfit all for under $150.

Shopping list:

Gap Stripe Fluid Tee $26.95

H&M Boyfriend Jeans $29.95

Target Merona Crossbody Bag $26.99

Old Navy Sueded D’Orsay Flats $24.94

Forever 21 Set Sail Tassel Scarf $9.90

Target Solid Sunglasses $7.99

Total: $126.72!

There’s even money left over! If you’re dying for something extra, this outift would look great with a braided belt or large link bracelet.

Photo: Stockman/Getty 2010

Only, you know, less coordinated.
Since the uncoordinated figure skater look doesn’t exactly work for me, I thought I’d round up some of the best ways to add a little sparkle to your wardrobe (that you won’t need to pair with skates).

Understated Sequin Dress

Sequin Line Dress
Madewell  // $298

Didn’t think you’d ever see “understated” and “sequin” in the same sentence? I didn’t either… until I saw this dress from Madewell.  Let’s break this down:  reasonable hemline: Check. Accentuates the waist: Check. Vertical lengthening stripes: Check.  I can’t think of a holiday function where this won’t be appropriate.

Hostess with the Mostess

Starlight Hearted Dress
Modcloth // $202.99

Looking for the perfect dress to ring in the new year?  I might have a problem when it comes to my love for confetti so of course this dress is going to make the list. Ivory and gold sequins on a stormy grey mesh… sigh…

Anti-LBD

River Island Sleeveless Sequin Dress
ASOS // $108.89

This drapey dress doesn’t cling and has slightly longer hemline so you won’t feel like you are on your way to a club at your next Christmas party.  This dress has a slightly open back for a flirty style.

Big Bash Party Dress

Your Name is Light Dress
Ruche // $79.99

“… I like large parties. They’re so intimate.  At small parties there isn’t any privacy.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby.  I love this dress for a bigger bash.  Keep the accessories simple for this one, the dress shines on it’s own.

Classic and Elegant

Jeweled Tunic Dress
Boden // $148.50 (sale price)

Tired of neutrals? Try this easy shift dress updated with an embellished Peter Pan collar. Perfect for a holiday concert, service or play.  Simple and elegant.

Budget Bling

Cocktail Hour Beaded Dress
Forever 21 // $29.80

Yes, I went there… my cheap-o obsession. But enough about my dirty little secret. I love the beading just around the neckline in this one.  The beading breaks up the nude being too close to your face, and at under $30 it’s an absolute steal. Pair this with long black coat and envelope clutch for a chic holiday look when the dress code is slightly ambiguous.

Plus Size

Skater Dress With Deco Sequin Top
ASOS // $81.67

I’m not gonna leave my curvier girls with out a little sparkle.  Sure, it’s got “skater” in the description but I love the figure-flattering A-line fit and fitted bodice on this dress– and yes, there’s that deco pattern again. I just can’t get away from it.

Sparkle, Mama

Bow Shift Dress
Hip to be Round // $132.00

It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t take care of my pregnant mama’s too. After all I’m mildly maternity-clothes obsessed. The bow on this dress brings eyes up and away from your belly, which is great when you feel like you’re constantly saying “Hello! My eyes are up here!”

Everyday Sparkle

Merona® Pullover Sweater with Sequin Shoulder Detail
Target // $24.99

Let’s face it: you need to brighten up your Tuesday. Pair this with a pencil for a night out or with dark skinnies for, you know, a Tuesday.  Best part about this sweater is that you can treat yourself with it when you need to go get some new white socks and a half a gallon of milk.

The Statement Necklace

Crystals Triangle Necklace
J.Crew // $135

Not sure you can go all out sequin? That’s alright. Start small with a (removable) statement necklace like this one.  Pop this puppy on with a tired crew neck LBD for an instant cocktail-worthy outfit… but don’t stop there! This necklace looks just as awesome paired with a tee jeans and a blazer (you’re never over dressed for the bus stop).

So will you be wearing something with a little shine this holiday?
I may have already decided on my New Year’s Eve dress.  Which one of these is your favorite?

The answer is simple: start as soon as you are uncomfortable.

Many women start feeling that their pants are uncomfortable right around 10 – 16 weeks (but that doesn’t mean your pants can’t feel a little tight at 8 or 18 weeks). Maternity pants can look and feel great and there is no point in being uncomfortable when a better option is out there.

Here are 5 tips toward buying maternity pants with confidence:

Paige maternity jeans, available at Hip to be Round

1. Ask for help.  Even if your favorite brand makes maternity, you’ll find items are retrofitted or made by a different designer altogether so it might not have the fit you’re used to.  Ask the salesperson what the best selling style is and why. You’ll be surprised to hear there’s a lot more that goes into designing maternity pants than you think!

2. Check the fabric content.  Most denim right now contains a certain amount of stretch fabric like Lycra or Spandex to retain shape and provide a comfortable fit.  The more stretch, the more you can go with a fit that feels good “right now”.  For example: a pair with 98% cotton and 2% elastine (stretch material like Lycra or Spandex) will have enough stretch retain it’s shape, but you will likely need to size up for a good maternity fit since they won’t grow with you.  Denim with a 78% cotton, 20% poly, 2% spandex blend will be noticeably more stretchy and you’ll be able to purchase a pair that fit closer to how you normally wear them.

One thing to remember: heat damages elastine over time. That means that if you’re putting your jeans in the dryer to “shrink them down” you are actually damaging their ability to retain their shape!

3. Give yourself a little “insurance room”.  This is especially true when shopping in your first trimester.  This does not mean you need to buy a size up or have a baggy fit, but you do want a little extra room to grow.  Here is one way to check: while wearing the jeans, use your thumb and index finger to grab a pinch of the fabric near your hip. If you pinch your skin, it’s not going to give enough room to grow,  If you can grab a full handful of the fabric, try the size down.  If you have just enough to comfortably hold between your fingers you’re probably just right.

5. Sit.  Find a spot to sit in your pants and lean forward.  Maternity pants offer the least flexibility right were the pant meets the panel (which is an important spot if you plan on sitting any time soon), if it’s digging in, it’s too tight.  While it feels low, the panel should start right above the pelvic bone, cradling the belly and allowing you to sit comfortably.

5. And this is a biggie: Don’t be tempted to purchase regular jeans in a size up.  It always seems like a good idea at the time, a cheap pair of jeans to wear in that “in between stage”, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are buying a pair of jeans for only a few weeks.  Eventually, since non-maternity pants are not meant to adapt to your growing body, they’ll have trouble staying put or be ill-fitting in the behind and before long, you’re going to need another pair.  if you need a temporary stop-gap, try a Bella Band, meant to extend the life of your pre-pregnancy jeans.  The better (and more comfortable) investment is to purchase a good pair of maternity jeans from the start that will adapt and grow with you.

I’m not so worried about my wardrobe at the moment, but as I turned 35, I thought: It is time. Time to go back to brown, act-my-age, hair.

I’ve always liked the natural color of my hair, but I went grey very early (first hair was at 24 years old!). While I’m not a fan of dressing too young, neither did I want to look two or three decades older than I am. But when the grays finally got to be too much, dyeing my hair brown was so boring, and it was impossible to match my natural color. I figured if I had to go in every few months, I might as well have fun.

I debated how to do that until two years ago when my family came home to a mom full of blue-green hair highlights.

It’s still my favorite look.

I’ve also had purple hair, red hair and many versions in between although I don’t do a full head of highlights anymore because that takes way too many hours. (I still think it looks the best though.)

Just before making my September hair appointment, I told my 7-year-old son that I was going back to brown.
His face dropped: WHY MOM?
We didn’t talk much about my hair so I was surprised: You like my colors?
My son gentle stroked my faded blue streak: Yeah.

The fact is I like them, too. It’s more fun to color my hair red than brown. Maybe it’s more fun to wear rhinestones on a gym-butt than it is to find granny jeans.

Perhaps the idea of dressing my age has more to do with perception than reality. I’m not actually trying to recapture my youth with a few streaks of colorful hair. I just like it, and it turns out the people that matter to me like it, too. If a stranger on the street is appalled or confused or offended, my hair becomes another opportunity for me to remember that I am a grown up not a teenager. I don’t have to care what random people think anymore especially of something as inconsequential as hair.

PS. I know there could be a conflict around “being myself” by dyeing my hair pretty colors and admitting that I  am dyeing my hair to not show grays. When I was young, I would’ve pointed my finger and yelled hypocrite or not admitted to why I first started dyeing my hair. Being human was too muddy for me. But the fact is that being myself means I am conflicted and confusing. I’m not ready to go gray even at 35 years old, and I’m not wearing colorful streaks in my hair to prove some sort of rebellious point. I like it so I do it, and I was going to stop doing it for the wrong reasons.

PPS. Maybe I’ll dye silver streaks one day so I can learn to like my grays.

PPPS. I know not everyone can dye their hair because of their jobs. Settle down, people. You can do something else like wear cutoff sleeve-less shirts on the weekends.

FASHION+HEALING CHILDREN

Melissa Chase, currently a media personality with 103.7 The River, will be the emcee at Catwalk for Kids April 8, 2011.  The event will include a luncheon catered by Mosaic Unique Events held at Rockets Landing, from 11:00am – 2:00pm, followed by a runway show by the design house Tibi with designer Amy Mortimer making an appearance.  There will also be live music by American Idol contestant, Zak Resnick and Susan Greenbaum.

From the Press Release

“Proceeds raised from the live auction will be donated to purchase a piece of cardiac equipment desperately needed to help save children’s lives.  These priceless packages offer once-in-a-lifetime experiences, such as:

• Carrie Underwood’s CMA Package: Signed guitar and one-of-a-kind handbag by Grammy and CMA winning artist Carrie Underwood, two round-trip tickets to Nashville, a three night stay at the Renaissance Nashville, two tickets to the CMA Awards on November 9, 2011 & the Country Music Hall of Fame & Museum Platinum Package.

• Stephen Colbert’s Bite Out of the Big Apple Package: One handbag designed by Stephen Colbert, two round-trip tickets to New York City, a three night stay at the Hilton, two VIP tickets to the taping of the Colbert Report, two tickets to a Broadway show of your choice, dinner for two and a Stephen Colbert swag bag.

• “Tibi’s Fall Fashion Week Fantasy”: One of a kind handbag co-created and made by hand from designer Amy Smilovic, Two tickets to the Tibi fall 2011 runway show during Fashion week.  A dress from the Tibi collection , two round trip tickets to New York City, three night stay at the luxurious Plaza Hotel, two tickets to a Broadway show, and a gourmet dining experience.”

To purchase tickets* for Catwalk for Kids Richmond, call 804-320-6960, ext. 5328. Or visit www.catwalkforkids.com

Tickets are $125 each or $1,250 for a table of ten.

Catwalk for Kids was founded by designer, Mary Norton, to provide “hope and healing by bringing together entertainers, designers, and children in need to work side by side engaged in hands on creative projects.”