I was a high risk, first time, mature, single, mom-to-be and had no preconceived ideas about breastfeeding, but knew that I wanted to have a natural labor and breastfeed my baby as soon as he flexed his baby lungs and screamed his arrival. 22 hours of natural labor, three hours of epidural expectations and one hour of c-section delivery soon shot my fairytale dream delivery but I still remained hopeful for a blissful breastfeeding experience.
So then I was faced with this new infant who wanted to eat 24/7 or so it seemed. Who relied on me to provide his every need. The lactation nurse came in to see me at the hospital that very morning, and proceeded to “teach” me how to properly breastfeed, as she aggressively fondled me and managed to get my boy latched on. I felt relieved and slightly violated.
However, as I was soooo drugged up with hospital medications to keep pain at bay, I seemed to remember thinking that the lactation nurse looked very similar to my long deceased grandfather. Truth be told, I was so blitzed when the lactation nurse was explaining how to help the baby latch onto my breast. Why, I wonder now, is this instruction not provided the week prior to birth, when you are completely sober and drug free.
A word of advice … take the lactation nurses prescription for Jack Newman’s Nipple ointment, and ask for refills – it was a saving grace.
Those first couple of days of breastfeeding were impossibly hard, upsetting and stressful for me. I was just grateful my son was getting milk and didn’t pay much attention to how he was getting it, which resulted in cracked, bleeding and extremely sore nipples from hell.
I was fortunate enough to have a Doula and postpartum Doula who helped me, as best they could, with how to adjust my breastfeeding positions to help with the latch. But my son and I were constantly at odds when it came to my breasts and his feeding. It was frustrating, awkward and painful for both of us.
On the second month, I was desperate to try and figure out a compromise for us. My postpartum Doula suggested a visit to the Breast Whisperer located in southside. I was intrigued and did I mention, desperate. So I immediately made an appointment and was ushered into the Breast Whisperer’s house, with baby and all baby feeding paraphernalia. I was shown how to cradle my child, supporting him and how his latch should feel and look like, without the aggressive fondling the hospital lactation nurse had generously provided previously.
The Breast Whisperer weighed my baby, in the buff, after each breastfeeding, to determine the quantity of milk he was receiving from each breast. And surprise, surprise, it was sufficient and he was thriving. I had such a feeling of relief and success. At last, I could provide for my child without both of us cringing, crying or climbing walls.
It took one more visit to the Breast Whisperer a couple of weeks later to find new feeding positions that would work for us, as my son grew big, strong and healthy. She recommended hydrogel pads to help soothe my enflamed nipples and by the third month, my son and I were best friends at breastfeeding time and my nipples, while they are as hard as silver bullets, have sufficiently recovered.
I am still breastfeeding my son, who turns five months old next week. Back in the bleak days, I swore I would “only breastfeed him for two more weeks”. My aim now, is to continue breastfeeding for as long as I want. Now, if only finding a job were that easy!
Another word of advice … if it hurts, just reach out for help. Don’t be frustrated alone. Believe me when I say, “by the third month, it becomes sooooo much easier.”
For 10 weeks, every feeding consisted of attempting breastfeeding (we had some latch issues), feeding a bottle of expressed milk, then pumping.
During those weeks, I was lucky to have amazing support from family, friends and lactation specialists. People would feed him the bottle, put away pumped milk and clean the pump pieces, help around the house, and offer emotional support.
My husband was such a trooper, waking up for almost all of the night feedings when we didn’t have one of our mothers at the house. Slowly, the need for using the bottle decreased and then stopped altogether. Our boy was breastfeeding!!!!!
In the process, we built up a supply of over 250 bags of frozen milk. My mother-in-law bought us a deep freeze. Benjamin chose to stop breastfeeding at 15 months, but he had breast milk for a long time after.
My second child, Scarlett, was born full term at VCU with the midwives. She latched right away. I have been pumping twice a day to stock up supply. She has been so successful, that we have been able to share milk with another baby!
I truly believe breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your child, but it isn’t necessarily easy. It is so important to have good support and information. I am grateful to the many people involved in the successful feeding of my babies.
I make plenty of milk, tons of milk; that’s not the problem.
I nurse in public discretely though I’m not ashamed of it. Sometimes people will have whole conversations with me before they notice that I’ve been nursing the entire time. I’ve got the holds and tips and tricks down. I attend regular La Leche League meetings mostly to provide support to other moms.
I’ve nursed 3 babies (all added up, I’ve nursed 28 months) and *knock on wood* we’ve never had too much of an issue.
So why do I say I’m not good at breastfeeding? Well, because most of the time, I don’t actually LIKE breastfeeding. In fact, sometimes, I kinda hate it. Predictably, as soon as I typed that, I am flooded with guilt. So many women have so much trouble and it comes so naturally to me. How could I say something like I “hate” nursing? I cringe at how ungrateful I sound.
Maybe, before I had kids, I had an overly romantic idea of what nursing my baby would be like. (A false expectation of parenthood?! Shocking!)
I suppose I pictured myself as a Mary Cassatt painting: staring lovingly into my baby’s eyes and thinking how grateful I am for this moment of bonding.
But the truth is, that beautiful moment of bonding is waaay too frequent on any given day. I hate pumping and I work full time, so there’s no way around it. I miss my non-nursing clothes. A lot. Babies pinch and wiggle and grab your face and hair… or stop nursing suddenly and take a look around, exposing your full nipple to the free world. They can’t hold their own breast like holding their own bottle… my list of breastfeeding grievances is long; I’ll spare you the 4 paragraphs of complaints I just deleted.
Basically, it comes down to this: I can only revel in the beauty of the mother-child relationship for so long and then there are places to go, people to see, and other mouths to feed (thankfully, they eat solids).
But here’s what I remind myself about all of that (plus the deleted paragraphs): it’s okay not to love everything that comes with having kids. Many women hate pregnancy (I love it) or the terrible twos (love that too!). Ages and stages come and go and I won’t have to breastfeed forever.
So despite my huffs and puffs, here are 5 most selfish reasons I breastfeed my babies:
1. I have a vanity issue. Yep. You’ve heard before and I’ll say it again: breastfeeding causes the uterus to contract which makes that post baby belly drop down a little faster; milk production alone burns 300-500 calories a day (free french fries!). Anything that causes you to burns calories just by breathing is worth a little boredom.
2. I have an irrational fear that my son will forget me. Let me repeat for all the new and working moms out there: this is a completely irrational fear. Bottle or breast, my son will not forget me. But when I’m gone 45 hours a week, it’s a little comforting to know that I’ve got something over nana.
3. I haven’t had to put the big kids to bed in 4 months. “Sorry, the baby is hungry, have fun putting the kids to bed honey!” I may or may not have gotten out of other household duties as well (I have).
4. Breastmilk poop doesn’t smell nearly as bad as formula poop. I’m not even kidding. We cloth diaper, so this is a serious factor.
5. It teaches me a lesson- in patience. Truth be told, I could use a little boredom in my life. I often have too many things going on and if I didn’t tie myself down (or weight myself with an 18 pound 4 month old) I might not stop.
We’re committed to at least a year, and I know from experience that it does get easier. Once I am not his only source of nutrition I’ll feel a little bit better. When don’t have to pump anymore, I’ll feel better still. And eventually, he won’t want to nurse at all, and when that day comes, when I realize he’s weaned entirely…
I’ll be just a little bit heartbroken.
Do any of you have a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding?
Does it make you feel as guilty as it makes me feel?
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I breastfed each of my two kids for a year each. My kids were only 22 months apart so I was pregnant or breastfeeding for 3 and a half years straight. {Side comment: High-five to self!}
Breastfeeding wasn’t always easy for me. I worried, at first, my babies weren’t getting enough to eat. I worried, at first, about staying “covered up.” I armed myself with responses to offensive comments, which never came. Pumping milk at work was, at best, somewhat relaxing, and at worst, terribly frustrating, inconvenient and degrading.
But holding and nursing my babies was such a wonderful feeling. For that moment, I could provide everything they needed. The cuddling, the closeness, the bonding and the milk that usually resulted in them dozing off. Then I would just hold them, run my fingers across their tiny hands and feet, and just stare at my tiny beautiful babies. Plus I became a pro! I could nurse them anywhere at any time, which rocked.
For these reasons and more, I would do it again. Reflecting on those years, the memories are not always great, but they are mine during this World Breastfeeding Week, I’d like to share a few of my faves with you.
I remember the first latch. For my daughter, born via c-section, it was probably 30 minutes after she was born. For my son, born the old fashioned way, it was within minutes of his arrival. I am forever grateful that they nursed like champs from the very beginning.
I remember being worried that my daughter wasn’t getting enough milk because she wanted to nurse every 90 minutes or so. Our wonderful pediatrician actually listened to me, and weighed my daughter, then asked me to nurse her, then weighed her again to show me that she had eaten plenty.
I remember buying my first nursing “cape”, an awful thing that I now call the “black cape of doom.” After wearing it at a baseball game and almost sweating to death, I took to using a very light piece of fabric…. and then nothing at all. I should have burned that stupid thing. (For my son, I made my own!)
I remember my dad usually left the room when I nursed my kids.
I remember that if I wanted a picture of myself breastfeeding my kids, I had to take it myself.
I remember sitting in various public spaces, alone with my baby, sometimes covered up and sometimes not. The changing room at the JC Penney. The chair in the back corner of the library. A chair in a public bathroom. I usually felt a mix of satisfaction and isolation.
I remember the intricate logistics of scheduling pumping breaks at work. At first, sharing a schedule with several other moms for the nursing room, then having my own office with a door. I pumped and took phone calls, and worried about having to explain the weird sucking noise in the background.
I remember getting upset at Target when we had to buy the first can of formula for my daughter at 5 months’ old because I just wasn’t pumping enough at work.
I remember taking a cooler of frozen breastmilk to the University of Oklahoma Medical Center to donate to a regional breast milk bank, because we couldn’t take it with us when we moved.
But more than anything, I remember the hours and hours of holding my little ones, when I was stressed or tired or happy, and they were sick, playful, sleepy, fussy, eager, or demanding, and sharing that moment which usually made us both feel better.
For more information on breastfeeding, visit: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/breastfeeding.html
For information on Richmond-area events during World Breastfeeding Week, click here.
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When my second little boy was born, my wild and spirited toddler added a whole new dimension to the already great responsibility of breastfeeding a newborn. I was surprised by how difficult it was to create personal space to nurse, free from curious hands and exuberant limbs. I often felt frustrated and disappointed, craving peace during the many nursing intervals woven throughout every day.
Perhaps you can relate.
Your toddler may be curious about breastfeeding, interested in the new baby, or vying for your undivided attention. He is likely to explore and test his limits when your attention is directed to the new baby. He may interpret your sitting down to nurse as his cue to try out some new tricks, wedge himself behind your back, or stretch out on top of little sister.
Juggling the demands of a nursing newborn and the emotional needs of an active toddler may test your patience and your breastfeeding resolve but you can plan ahead to work with your toddler and make the best of your family’s transition.
Create a safe environment that works for you and your toddler: Set up a comfortable nursing station with everything you need within arms reach: burp cloths, a nursing pillow, a water bottle, easy to eat snacks, and your phone. Orient your nursing station in close proximity to the area in which your toddler plays, or bring your toddlers play toys near to your nursing station. Baby proof the designated space so that your child can explore freely, and consider creating a closed space with a baby gate or a locked door to keep your little one within sight.
Talk to your toddler about babies: Share stories about what he was like as a newborn and how you cared for him. Talk about what newborns look like, how they spend their time, and what makes them happy. Newborns nurse a lot, they sleep, and they cry. Babies love to be held, they enjoy silly voices and funny faces, they like to explore with their mouths and hands. Talk about the ways that your older child can help you to care for their little brother or sister. We love the book Everywhere Babies by Susan Meyers, a celebration of babies and the many ways they are cared for. Talk openly about breastfeeding and explain it in simple terms that your toddler will understand.
Engage your toddler with special activities: Identify toddler-friendly activities that don’t require a lot of setup like puzzles, cars, and blocks, or activities that can be done independently like coloring, play dough, and water colors. Foster a sense of novelty by rotating toys or offering activities that are only available when the baby is nursing. Check out the When Baby is Nursing: Activities for Toddlers Pinterest board for lots of fun and inspiring age appropriate activities for toddlers and preschoolers.
Invite your toddler to get to know the new baby: You can facilitate your children’s special sibling relationship by encouraging affection and intimacy. Help big brother to practice using gentle hands to count toes and fingers, identify body parts, stroke hair and skin, and investigate tiny fingernails, earlobes, and belly buttons while baby quietly nurses.
Encourage your toddler to join in on the fun: Gather a baby doll, blanket, diapers, and other newborn essentials to foster your older child’s sense of responsibility and to include them in your daily routines. Toddlers mimic what they see and experience in real life, it is a normal response for children to pretend to nurse their baby dolls or pretend to pump milk.
Work with your toddler’s natural curiosity: Children are naturally curious about breastfeeding. It is normal and healthy for a toddler to observe a sibling nursing. He may have questions about breastfeeding, feel free to answer them honestly and accurately. If your child has already weaned and shows a renewed interest in breastfeeding it’s up to you if you want to offer the opportunity to nurse. Many toddlers may not remember how to nurse, or may satisfy their own curiosity with just one attempt. Another alternative can be to express milk into a cup and offer your toddler a taste. For information about tandem nursing (breastfeeding two or more children concurrently) you may like Adventures in Tandem Nursing: breastfeeding during pregnancy and beyond.
Designate the older sibling as your big helper: Give him small tasks that he can carry out to build confidence and help him to feel important in his new role of big brother. Ask him to retrieve diapers or blankets, and offer your appreciation and recognition for his efforts to pitch in.
Enjoy hanging out with your toddler: Eat a snack or meal together, listen to music, cuddle, read a book, play Eye Spy or Go Fish! Depending on your values around screen time you may consider watching a show together or offering the opportunity to play a game on your phone or computer.
Wear your baby when nursing: Check out these video tutorials to learn more about how to nurse your baby while wearing her in different carrier styles. Once you get the hang of it you will be able to nurse on the move and take advantage of the added mobility to play with and care for your older child.
Change the scenery: If the usual nursing chair isn’t working out try changing it up: nurse in bed, on the couch, at the dining room table, or join your toddler on the floor. Take it outside, to the library, or to a play space like the Children’s Museum or Splash Park. If the weather is nice throw out a blanket in the backyard or in a nearby park to get some fresh air and let your little guy or gal enjoy the sunshine with room to roam.
Coordinate help when available: If a co-parent or other helper is available, create a special ritual around time spent with another attachment when you are nursing the baby. Swap time with a neighbor or friend; your toddler will enjoy his special time away, and it will free you up to savor some one-on-one time with your baby.
Find your Rhythm and Routine: Treat nursing sessions as you would other aspects of your daily routine and help your toddler to know what’s upcoming while also communicating your expectations. With time your toddler will learn what to expect when baby is nursing. As your new baby grows she will settle into a predictable nursing routine and you will find a daily rhythm that meets your needs and the needs of your little ones. Make the extra effort to stay connected with your toddler during nursing sessions and other times when you have your hands full: use eye contact to communicate your full attention, give back rubs and high fives to communicate your love and appreciation. As often as you can, build in to your routine Special Time with your toddler to reconnect and strengthen your growing relationship.
]]>I breastfed my children, which naturally makes me an expert.
Pro: My breasts went from an A to a DD in preparation for the big breastfeeding day, which made me more understanding of women's boobs everywhere.
Con: Breastfeeding didn’t make me better than moms who formula fed. Very disappointing.
Pro: I produced LIQUID GOLD.
Con: Turned out it was just breast milk.
Pro: I got so good at breastfeeding that I could walk and breastfeed and nobody could tell. I was a breastfeeding ninja.
Con: Breastfeeding ninjas don’t get many weapons beyond feeding my child and the ability to blind people with a milk squirt.
Pro: I bought cool new shirts with peekaboo breast pockets.
Con: I took being called “a milk cow” as a compliment.
Pro: When my kid had thrust, I got to paint my nipples purple.
Con: When my kid had thrust, I had to paint my nipples purple.
Pro: I could legally flash people in public.
Con: No one ever gave me Mardi Gras beads.
Pro: I saved so much money breastfeeding.
Con: I spent some of it on giant fugly nursing bras.
Pro: Breast milk is the all-natural, medicinal duct tape of infants. Squirt in the baby’s eyes, ears, noses, and ALL BETTER!
Con: Mastitis.
Pro: Augment breast size with just one feeding.
Con: Accidentally augment only the left side.
Pro: I told so many jokes about boobs crying when anything else cries.
Con: Breast- or formula-feeding does not give someone a sense of humor.
Now everyone knows exactly what to do and how to do it. Or at least to not take themselves so seriously while trying to figure it all out.
PS. Breastfeeding is not black or white, good or bad, next president or serial killer, and it certainly isn't the most serious thing you do for your child. However, every woman should have the opportunity to breastfeed her children for as long as she would like with the supports she needs. Click here for a list of events in Richmond, VA to celebrate World Breastfeeding Week for breastfeeding moms or those considering it as a choice for their baby.
In addition, as we celebrate World Breastfeeding Week, we have also provided an updated listing of breastfeeding resources on our website. You can click here for the list.
To make it easy to find when you need it, it’s also available by clicking on the navigation of our home page under “Expecting a Baby” and “Breastfeeding Resources”.
We’re happy to add additional resources as they become available. Please email us with your recommendations at christa@richmondmom.com.
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If you are like most pregnant and newly postpartum mamas you are aware of the many benefits that breastfeeding offers to you and your baby. You also probably have a goal in mind for how long you would like to breastfeed whether it be until you transition back to work, six months, one year, or more!
Breast milk is a human baby’s normal food, and while the physiology of lactation is a natural process, breastfeeding is a learned skill and many mamas say it can be really hard at first.
Even if you don’t experience any of the most common complications like low milk supply, nipple pain, engorgement, plugged ducts, or mastitis, you may still find the commitment and the demands of breastfeeding around the clock to be exhausting.
So what do you do if the mechanics of breastfeeding are going well, but the effort required feels herculean and you secretly wonder how much longer you can keep at this? Whatever your goals, whatever your challenges, many mamas share your sentiment.
Here are a few suggestions to help get you through:
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