What does this photo mean to you? To me, it represents nurturing, sustenance and love. The infant seems relaxed, engaged and all is well. Unfortunately, this was not my breastfeeding experience. Breastfeeding was an emotional journey for me. It seemed the odds were against me – low milk supply, baby with reflux and feeding issues (which would continue through his preschool years), multiple yeast infections, mastitis, and difficulty latching. All of our feeding sessions except two ended in screaming fests. Because I had low supply, I attempted to feed my son, then my husband would feed him a bottle, then I would pump. Sometimes I would partially pump, then try and feed My son.
Supplemental Nursing System (SNS)
I worked with a lactation consultant for several months trying to get baby to latch and deal with my low milk supply. We even tried the Supplemental Nursing System (SNS). This tube allows you to breastfeed your baby, while also supplementing with either pumped milk or formula, so that your baby can eat at the breast. Unfortunately, this did not work for us either.
With only 2 weeks left before I returned to work, I needed to change course. So, after 2 1/2 months of trying to feed my son at the breast, I made the difficult decision to exclusively pump. This means that although my baby received my milk, he drank it from a bottle. At first, I didn’t have enough milk, so I needed to supplement with formula. We made up a cocktail of sorts, that my son would get a bottle of breast milk (sometimes only ½ an ounce or an ounce) and then a bottle of formula. During these early days, my son was receiving ¾ formula and ¼ milk. As the weeks went on, I was eventually able to increase the breast milk ratio, to where he no longer required formula. Interestingly, my low supply was no longer an issue once I made the decision to exclusively pump, because I felt good about the decision and let go of some of the stress.
While I initially looked at my breastfeeding experience as a failure, it was anything but. I was able to exclusively pump for my son until he was 2 years and 11 months old. Now that is a success – even though it looks very different than I originally envisioned.
This was possible due to my supportive husband, first and foremost. He fed baby while I was pumping, and later cared for him when I was pumping and my son had already been fed. Additionally, online support groups conveyed positivity and told me that I could make this work for my baby and me. (This was especially helpful when some family and friends left me feeling discouraged about my choice, saying things like, “Wouldn’t it be easier if you just gave him formula?” or “How much time does that take? I would NEVER do that!”) Finally, I was fortunate to have a supportive employer who provided a clean, private and secure pumping location on my breaks.
Do you know someone who exclusively pumps? Is it something you would consider?
Click here to learn more about exclusive pumping.
Click here for resources on breastfeeding in general.
Click here for other stories about breastfeeding from Richmondmom.
]]>If every child was breastfed within an hour of birth, given only breast milk for their first six months of life, and continued breastfeeding up to the age of two years, about 800,000 child lives would be saved every year.
-World Health Organization
Attending a latch on event isn’t about making a statement, it’s about, celebrating mothering, creating a community of support, meet other breastfeeding moms and getting yourself comfortable with breastfeeding too.
Breastfeeding mothers of all ages and nursing stages can meet at these two locations:
Midlothian’s Big Latch On
Bon Secours St. Francis Medical Center
Saturday, August 2
at 9:30am – 11:30am
Starting in New Zealand in 2005, the Big Latch On continues to grow as communities join in. In 2013, 14,536 women and their children came together to breastfeed simultaneously during the Big Latch On.
The Big Latch On which kicks off World Breastfeeding Week which raises awareness about the benefits of breastfeeding the first 7 days in August every year.
Note: The Midlothian event is affiliated with the Big Latch On and attendees who latch on at 10:30am and breastfeed for one minute will be counted as apart of the global Big Latch On.
RVA! Latches On
Virgina State Capital Building
Saturday, August 2
at 10:00am – 11:00am
Now in its third year, RVA Latches On! has benefited from the support of all three Richmond area hospital systems: Bon Secours Richmond, HCA Richmond, and VCU Medical Center.
This event brings together breastfeeding mothers, their families and community advocates to highlight the critical importance of breastfeeding for the current and long-term health of our mothers and children by participating in a synchronized “latch on” at the Virginia State Capitol.
Note: This is not affiliated with the Big Latch On event and will hold an independent count of mothers who latch on without a requirement for duration.
More Quick Links:
Breastfeeding Resources
When Breastfeeding Sucks 13 Things to Try
From the beginning, I knew what kind of mom I wanted to be.
I wanted a healthy pregnancy, a drug-free labor, I wanted to stay-at-home with my son, and I wanted to breastfeed.
My life has a tendency to not go according to plan, and I wound up with a complicated pregnancy that left me on bed rest for three months, a long labor that resulted in a c-section and a near overdose of medication afterwards that left me in an unconscious state and unable to meet my son until two and half hours after his birth. (It’s recommended that babies nurse within the first hour of life.) I don’t have a conscious memory of meeting him until he was 9 hours old. My difficult birth experience in conjunction with my later developed postpartum depression set me up to fail as a breastfeeding mother.
Against all odds, I survived as a breastfeeding mother and nursed my son for two full years. He weaned right before his second birthday.
Today, in honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I would love to share a bit of my breastfeeding story with you.
The first time my son nursed I was in the hospital room and he was a bit over 2 ½ hours old. It was the first time I was meeting him and I don’t remember it. There are pictures of a very out-of-it-me holding a very hungry newborn and I just didn’t have the ability to do anything. The saving grace of my son and I’s breastfeeding relationship, and really our relationship at all, is my Mom. She is a lactation consultant, and the first time my son nursed I literally had nothing to do with it. My mom held my breast, my husband held the baby, and they helped him latch.
The next time I nursed my husband helped me in the darkness of the late night hospital room when the nurse brought our son to us from the nursery crying.
By the time we left the hospital, I thought I understood what I was doing, and my son seemed to be thriving. We were released to go home on a Thursday evening and by Friday I had decided that I couldn’t nurse anymore.
My nipples hurt, my c-section incision hurt, my son wasn’t latching well, and mentally I just couldn’t handle the demands of a newborn needing me to feed him every two hours. I remember wanting to give up on that Friday afternoon, and if it hadn’t been for the encouragement and knowledge of my Mom, I absolutely would have.
Eventually, my son and I fell into a routine with our breastfeeding. I used a nipple shield and tried other tricks to ease the pain. My mom stayed with us for two weeks and helped me learn the art of latching and positioning.
And at the end of that two week period, it just got…easier.
My son never took a bottle or a pacifier and he nursed right up until his second birthday, an accomplishment I never would have expected to achieve.
I became a pro at breastfeeding, and would nurse my son anywhere from a restaurant to a car to a baseball game and anyone’s house we were visiting. I fell in love with my Bebe Au Lait nursing cover and also became very un-modest around close friends and family.
Here’s what I will tell you about breastfeeding: it is hard…AT FIRST. It is scary…AT FIRST. It is demanding and trying and sometimes you feel like you just can’t do it anymore because it’s your body and would everyone please stop touching me.
But it’s also beautiful. There is nothing more amazing than nourishing your child with your body and the bond you establish with your child as a nursing mother is indescribably close and sweet. And once you get through those first two weeks, breastfeeding is EASIER. Your milk is always accessible, always the right temperature, and always the perfect cure for a baby that’s hungry, tired, or just needs soothing. As added bonuses your body is much more voluptuous and you can eat whatever you want! I used to call nursing my “magic power.”
I endured some judgment for my breastfeeding from friends who bottle fed and from strangers when I nursed in public areas. I have definitely received some questioning stares when I reveal that I nursed my son for two years.
But I also established a wonderful, loving, and permanent bond with my son through our breastfeeding relationship. Given my difficult pregnancy, delivery, and recovery I needed breastfeeding to work. I truly believe that breastfeeding saved my relationship with my son. (And me…but that’s probably a story for another day.)
Thankfully, breastfeeding is not as hard for everyone as it was for me. Some moms and babies are able to establish a wonderful nursing relationship right from the start, but even if that doesn’t happen for you, there are still ways to succeed in breastfeeding. I found that the keys to my breastfeeding success were support, knowledge, and determination. I am incredibly lucky to have a Mom who happens to be a lactation consultant, and I also had a husband totally on board with breastfeeding. Our son was born in an area where I didn’t find a lot of support from peers, but once I moved to Richmond I was so pleased to find a city where breastfeeding was accepted and celebrated, and I made friends with other nursing moms. Nursing isn’t always as straightforward as it sounds, but there are a lot of ways to make it easier for you if you are having difficulty with latching or positioning. And I always tell my new mom friends something my mom told me: “Breastfeeding does take more energy at the beginning, but then it is so much easier.”
And oh so worth it.
What’s your breastfeeding story?
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My Doula, McRae Brittingham, recommended that I share my breastfeeding story with you to help others in their quest to breastfeed naturally.A word of advice …
I was a high risk, first time, mature, single, mom-to-be and had no preconceived ideas about breastfeeding, but knew that I wanted to have a natural labor and breastfeed my baby as soon as he flexed his baby lungs and screamed his arrival. 22 hours of natural labor, three hours of epidural expectations and one hour of c-section delivery soon shot my fairytale dream delivery but I still remained hopeful for a blissful breastfeeding experience.
So then I was faced with this new infant who wanted to eat 24/7 or so it seemed. Who relied on me to provide his every need. The lactation nurse came in to see me at the hospital that very morning, and proceeded to “teach” me how to properly breastfeed, as she aggressively fondled me and managed to get my boy latched on. I felt relieved and slightly violated.
However, as I was soooo drugged up with hospital medications to keep pain at bay, I seemed to remember thinking that the lactation nurse looked very similar to my long deceased grandfather. Truth be told, I was so blitzed when the lactation nurse was explaining how to help the baby latch onto my breast. Why, I wonder now, is this instruction not provided the week prior to birth, when you are completely sober and drug free.
A word of advice … take the lactation nurses prescription for Jack Newman’s Nipple ointment, and ask for refills – it was a saving grace.
Those first couple of days of breastfeeding were impossibly hard, upsetting and stressful for me. I was just grateful my son was getting milk and didn’t pay much attention to how he was getting it, which resulted in cracked, bleeding and extremely sore nipples from hell.
I was fortunate enough to have a Doula and postpartum Doula who helped me, as best they could, with how to adjust my breastfeeding positions to help with the latch. But my son and I were constantly at odds when it came to my breasts and his feeding. It was frustrating, awkward and painful for both of us.
On the second month, I was desperate to try and figure out a compromise for us. My postpartum Doula suggested a visit to the Breast Whisperer located in southside. I was intrigued and did I mention, desperate. So I immediately made an appointment and was ushered into the Breast Whisperer’s house, with baby and all baby feeding paraphernalia. I was shown how to cradle my child, supporting him and how his latch should feel and look like, without the aggressive fondling the hospital lactation nurse had generously provided previously.
The Breast Whisperer weighed my baby, in the buff, after each breastfeeding, to determine the quantity of milk he was receiving from each breast. And surprise, surprise, it was sufficient and he was thriving. I had such a feeling of relief and success. At last, I could provide for my child without both of us cringing, crying or climbing walls.
It took one more visit to the Breast Whisperer a couple of weeks later to find new feeding positions that would work for us, as my son grew big, strong and healthy. She recommended hydrogel pads to help soothe my enflamed nipples and by the third month, my son and I were best friends at breastfeeding time and my nipples, while they are as hard as silver bullets, have sufficiently recovered.
I am still breastfeeding my son, who turns five months old next week. Back in the bleak days, I swore I would “only breastfeed him for two more weeks”. My aim now, is to continue breastfeeding for as long as I want. Now, if only finding a job were that easy!
Another word of advice … if it hurts, just reach out for help. Don’t be frustrated alone. Believe me when I say, “by the third month, it becomes sooooo much easier.”
For 10 weeks, every feeding consisted of attempting breastfeeding (we had some latch issues), feeding a bottle of expressed milk, then pumping.
During those weeks, I was lucky to have amazing support from family, friends and lactation specialists. People would feed him the bottle, put away pumped milk and clean the pump pieces, help around the house, and offer emotional support.
My husband was such a trooper, waking up for almost all of the night feedings when we didn’t have one of our mothers at the house. Slowly, the need for using the bottle decreased and then stopped altogether. Our boy was breastfeeding!!!!!
In the process, we built up a supply of over 250 bags of frozen milk. My mother-in-law bought us a deep freeze. Benjamin chose to stop breastfeeding at 15 months, but he had breast milk for a long time after.
My second child, Scarlett, was born full term at VCU with the midwives. She latched right away. I have been pumping twice a day to stock up supply. She has been so successful, that we have been able to share milk with another baby!
I truly believe breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your child, but it isn’t necessarily easy. It is so important to have good support and information. I am grateful to the many people involved in the successful feeding of my babies.
I make plenty of milk, tons of milk; that’s not the problem.
I nurse in public discretely though I’m not ashamed of it. Sometimes people will have whole conversations with me before they notice that I’ve been nursing the entire time. I’ve got the holds and tips and tricks down. I attend regular La Leche League meetings mostly to provide support to other moms.
I’ve nursed 3 babies (all added up, I’ve nursed 28 months) and *knock on wood* we’ve never had too much of an issue.
So why do I say I’m not good at breastfeeding? Well, because most of the time, I don’t actually LIKE breastfeeding. In fact, sometimes, I kinda hate it. Predictably, as soon as I typed that, I am flooded with guilt. So many women have so much trouble and it comes so naturally to me. How could I say something like I “hate” nursing? I cringe at how ungrateful I sound.
Maybe, before I had kids, I had an overly romantic idea of what nursing my baby would be like. (A false expectation of parenthood?! Shocking!)
I suppose I pictured myself as a Mary Cassatt painting: staring lovingly into my baby’s eyes and thinking how grateful I am for this moment of bonding.
But the truth is, that beautiful moment of bonding is waaay too frequent on any given day. I hate pumping and I work full time, so there’s no way around it. I miss my non-nursing clothes. A lot. Babies pinch and wiggle and grab your face and hair… or stop nursing suddenly and take a look around, exposing your full nipple to the free world. They can’t hold their own breast like holding their own bottle… my list of breastfeeding grievances is long; I’ll spare you the 4 paragraphs of complaints I just deleted.
Basically, it comes down to this: I can only revel in the beauty of the mother-child relationship for so long and then there are places to go, people to see, and other mouths to feed (thankfully, they eat solids).
But here’s what I remind myself about all of that (plus the deleted paragraphs): it’s okay not to love everything that comes with having kids. Many women hate pregnancy (I love it) or the terrible twos (love that too!). Ages and stages come and go and I won’t have to breastfeed forever.
So despite my huffs and puffs, here are 5 most selfish reasons I breastfeed my babies:
1. I have a vanity issue. Yep. You’ve heard before and I’ll say it again: breastfeeding causes the uterus to contract which makes that post baby belly drop down a little faster; milk production alone burns 300-500 calories a day (free french fries!). Anything that causes you to burns calories just by breathing is worth a little boredom.
2. I have an irrational fear that my son will forget me. Let me repeat for all the new and working moms out there: this is a completely irrational fear. Bottle or breast, my son will not forget me. But when I’m gone 45 hours a week, it’s a little comforting to know that I’ve got something over nana.
3. I haven’t had to put the big kids to bed in 4 months. “Sorry, the baby is hungry, have fun putting the kids to bed honey!” I may or may not have gotten out of other household duties as well (I have).
4. Breastmilk poop doesn’t smell nearly as bad as formula poop. I’m not even kidding. We cloth diaper, so this is a serious factor.
5. It teaches me a lesson- in patience. Truth be told, I could use a little boredom in my life. I often have too many things going on and if I didn’t tie myself down (or weight myself with an 18 pound 4 month old) I might not stop.
We’re committed to at least a year, and I know from experience that it does get easier. Once I am not his only source of nutrition I’ll feel a little bit better. When don’t have to pump anymore, I’ll feel better still. And eventually, he won’t want to nurse at all, and when that day comes, when I realize he’s weaned entirely…
I’ll be just a little bit heartbroken.
Do any of you have a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding?
Does it make you feel as guilty as it makes me feel?
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When my second little boy was born, my wild and spirited toddler added a whole new dimension to the already great responsibility of breastfeeding a newborn. I was surprised by how difficult it was to create personal space to nurse, free from curious hands and exuberant limbs. I often felt frustrated and disappointed, craving peace during the many nursing intervals woven throughout every day.
Perhaps you can relate.
Your toddler may be curious about breastfeeding, interested in the new baby, or vying for your undivided attention. He is likely to explore and test his limits when your attention is directed to the new baby. He may interpret your sitting down to nurse as his cue to try out some new tricks, wedge himself behind your back, or stretch out on top of little sister.
Juggling the demands of a nursing newborn and the emotional needs of an active toddler may test your patience and your breastfeeding resolve but you can plan ahead to work with your toddler and make the best of your family’s transition.
Create a safe environment that works for you and your toddler: Set up a comfortable nursing station with everything you need within arms reach: burp cloths, a nursing pillow, a water bottle, easy to eat snacks, and your phone. Orient your nursing station in close proximity to the area in which your toddler plays, or bring your toddlers play toys near to your nursing station. Baby proof the designated space so that your child can explore freely, and consider creating a closed space with a baby gate or a locked door to keep your little one within sight.
Talk to your toddler about babies: Share stories about what he was like as a newborn and how you cared for him. Talk about what newborns look like, how they spend their time, and what makes them happy. Newborns nurse a lot, they sleep, and they cry. Babies love to be held, they enjoy silly voices and funny faces, they like to explore with their mouths and hands. Talk about the ways that your older child can help you to care for their little brother or sister. We love the book Everywhere Babies by Susan Meyers, a celebration of babies and the many ways they are cared for. Talk openly about breastfeeding and explain it in simple terms that your toddler will understand.
Engage your toddler with special activities: Identify toddler-friendly activities that don’t require a lot of setup like puzzles, cars, and blocks, or activities that can be done independently like coloring, play dough, and water colors. Foster a sense of novelty by rotating toys or offering activities that are only available when the baby is nursing. Check out the When Baby is Nursing: Activities for Toddlers Pinterest board for lots of fun and inspiring age appropriate activities for toddlers and preschoolers.
Invite your toddler to get to know the new baby: You can facilitate your children’s special sibling relationship by encouraging affection and intimacy. Help big brother to practice using gentle hands to count toes and fingers, identify body parts, stroke hair and skin, and investigate tiny fingernails, earlobes, and belly buttons while baby quietly nurses.
Encourage your toddler to join in on the fun: Gather a baby doll, blanket, diapers, and other newborn essentials to foster your older child’s sense of responsibility and to include them in your daily routines. Toddlers mimic what they see and experience in real life, it is a normal response for children to pretend to nurse their baby dolls or pretend to pump milk.
Work with your toddler’s natural curiosity: Children are naturally curious about breastfeeding. It is normal and healthy for a toddler to observe a sibling nursing. He may have questions about breastfeeding, feel free to answer them honestly and accurately. If your child has already weaned and shows a renewed interest in breastfeeding it’s up to you if you want to offer the opportunity to nurse. Many toddlers may not remember how to nurse, or may satisfy their own curiosity with just one attempt. Another alternative can be to express milk into a cup and offer your toddler a taste. For information about tandem nursing (breastfeeding two or more children concurrently) you may like Adventures in Tandem Nursing: breastfeeding during pregnancy and beyond.
Designate the older sibling as your big helper: Give him small tasks that he can carry out to build confidence and help him to feel important in his new role of big brother. Ask him to retrieve diapers or blankets, and offer your appreciation and recognition for his efforts to pitch in.
Enjoy hanging out with your toddler: Eat a snack or meal together, listen to music, cuddle, read a book, play Eye Spy or Go Fish! Depending on your values around screen time you may consider watching a show together or offering the opportunity to play a game on your phone or computer.
Wear your baby when nursing: Check out these video tutorials to learn more about how to nurse your baby while wearing her in different carrier styles. Once you get the hang of it you will be able to nurse on the move and take advantage of the added mobility to play with and care for your older child.
Change the scenery: If the usual nursing chair isn’t working out try changing it up: nurse in bed, on the couch, at the dining room table, or join your toddler on the floor. Take it outside, to the library, or to a play space like the Children’s Museum or Splash Park. If the weather is nice throw out a blanket in the backyard or in a nearby park to get some fresh air and let your little guy or gal enjoy the sunshine with room to roam.
Coordinate help when available: If a co-parent or other helper is available, create a special ritual around time spent with another attachment when you are nursing the baby. Swap time with a neighbor or friend; your toddler will enjoy his special time away, and it will free you up to savor some one-on-one time with your baby.
Find your Rhythm and Routine: Treat nursing sessions as you would other aspects of your daily routine and help your toddler to know what’s upcoming while also communicating your expectations. With time your toddler will learn what to expect when baby is nursing. As your new baby grows she will settle into a predictable nursing routine and you will find a daily rhythm that meets your needs and the needs of your little ones. Make the extra effort to stay connected with your toddler during nursing sessions and other times when you have your hands full: use eye contact to communicate your full attention, give back rubs and high fives to communicate your love and appreciation. As often as you can, build in to your routine Special Time with your toddler to reconnect and strengthen your growing relationship.
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Get ready for the BIG Latch On during Breastfeeding Week. There are two local venues in the Richmond area this year:
- Bon Secours St. Francis Medical Center, 13710 St. Francis Boulevard, Midlothian, VA – August 3 at 9:45 a.m.
- Virginia State Capitol, 1000 Bank Street, Richmond, VA 23219 – Big Latch On RVA – August 3 at 9:45 a.m.