Not just any pool, but a pool with a splash pad and a mushroom water feature and waterfalls!

Feeling proud of myself, my son and I invested in a new pool bag, plenty of bathing suits, loads of sunscreen, and pool toys.

And then this summer in Richmond happened. In direct contrast to last summer’s dry and oppressive heat, this summer has been wet and humid. Though it does make for cooler temperatures, I feel like we should be preparing an ark and my hair is looking a bit like this:

(Image source: NBC.com)

Still determined to fill our days with fun activities (even if they don’t include the pool), I’ve resorted to other ideas to keep this summer entertaining.

Richmond offers a wide selection of summer camps, vacation bible schools, and Mom’s Morning Outs. We’ve signed up for them. A lot of them.

We’ve had some really fun play dates, even if they did involve umbrellas.

Cutest play date ever!

I’ve even pulled out my inner Pinterest creativity and we created our own indoor car racing ramp. This game is highly addictive (if you’re three) and surprisingly louder than you would expect. It also usually involves more than just cars racing down the track. Think pillows, buckets, and anything your toddler will deem worth throwing.

We also tried a lovely idea of painting with flowers. If you are like us, your yard has an excess of flowers due to lack of mowing and lots of rain, so it was a lot of fun to walk through the yard to gather flowers and then set up to paint with them on the kitchen floor. Be prepared that flower painting will yield in beautifully decorated paper and might also give your kitchen floor and dishwasher a freshly painted makeover.

And who can resist fun summer food? We had a blast dressing up like cows for Chick-fil-A’s cow appreciation day

and have enjoyed some wonderful nights with food trucks and music.

Food Truck night!

We’ve also taken advantage of some of the great indoor play places around Richmond and spent time at The Children’s Museum, Cartwheels and Coffee, and my son’s new favorite place, Jumpology.

This may not have turned out to be the summer I envisioned spending hot sunny days by the pool, but we are still having a great time and keeping busy.

What are you doing to keep yourself (and your kids) entertained this summer?

reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/

I was recently forwarded a funny tumblr site called Reasons My Son Is Crying.  You may have heard of it, the blog is only days old and has already gone viral.  It’s a hilarious collection of pictures of the same toddler crying (who knew there were that many different crying faces a kid could make?) for various silly, dubious reasons.  Like every other toddler on the planet.  Which is what makes the blog so funny.

Toddlers make absolutely no sense at all.  It’s been proven.  (Probably by some actual child development experts, but, also, by me.)  My toddler wants to wear her bathing suit to preschool in January and tights and a dress to the pool.  She’s old enough to know what she wants and not old enough to understand reason.  It’s a frustrating phase that’s periodically injected with hysterical moments, which is my Reasons My Son Is Crying hits home with so many parents.

Crying and tantrums are a way of life with a toddler.  And with three kids, we’ve had our share.  Some of them made sense (Hey, sorry you hit your head on the chair) and some of them didn’t (No, you can’t eat the salt with a spoon).  Some I could laugh at, and some have scarred me permanently.  I still can’t go into PotteryBarn Kids at the mall because the sales ladies give me the look that says, “Oh, that’s the lady who had to pull her bratty kid out the door by her shoes.”  And they’re right.

Reasons My Son Is Crying points out the comedy of it all with funny lines like, he’s crying “because I didn’t let him drag this shovel into the house” or “it took me longer than zero seconds to take his shirt off.”  My favorite one is “because I gave him water.”

But, as with any other parenting topic (even seemingly uncontroversial ones like this), there’s an opposition group.  People are starting to voice concern and even disgust that this dad would poke fun at his son’s toddlerness.  Suggesting that this permanent record of his meltdowns might hurt his chances of getting into a good college or getting a job.  This seems a bit of a stretch considering that this boy isn’t reading or writing yet, much less crafting college admission essays.  But in the age of the internet we certainly know that what we post online can come back to haunt us in the future.

Embarrassing childhood evidence is not new.  We grownups all have old photos or videos that continue to haunt us.  (Don’t lie, yes you do.)  We lived out our awkward years in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s – macramé vests and bell bottoms, neon lace gloves and cut-off shirts, pegged jeans and perms – we’ve all got the equivalent of “Reasons My Son is Crying” and we’ve survived.

However, our parents didn’t have the option of posting those embarrassing moments to the internet for all to see.

So here’s the question: Are we, the good hardworking parents of today, allowed to share stories and pictures of our kids’ ridiculous behavior to get some comic relief and camaraderie?  Or is it going too far to post it to the internet?

I think we all have our kids’ best interests in mind, but sometimes we do things that embarrass or stress out our kids.  My husband and I often throw around the ol’ “Oh just add it to her therapy bill!”  It’s a joke, but not really.  We try to do right by our kids every day but we’re still going to screw them up in some ways because we’re human.  And we’re tired.  And sometimes it’s just funny.

What do you think?  Did this dad go overboard?  Has he ruined his son’s chances at getting into college?  Or is he just a dad trying to get through the tough toddler years with a sense of humor?

In any case, enjoy the pictures, they’ll make you laugh and give you some small relief that your kid isn’t the only one who’s capable of such craziness.

Then…

My daughter was five weeks old when I made my first postpartum trek to Richmond – my hometown – from my current home in West Virginia’s eastern panhandle. My husband was unable to join us for the trip, so I was making the [normally] three-hour drive alone. And I was terrified.

We set out in the early afternoon immediately following a feeding, in the hopes that I wouldn’t have to nurse again until I arrived at my destination. Four hours, three pit stops, two diaper changes, one Starbucks chai latte, and a partridge in a pear tree later, I rolled into my parents’ house and immediately whipped out a boob. Whew…

Mission accomplished.

Truth be told, the trip itself was the easy part. Vivian slept throughout most of it, leaving me alone with only my thoughts and the open road. It was actually quite blissful.

But the packing… oh, the packing.

I packed five bags between the two of us for that trip – a four-day visit with my family. Included on my extensive checklist were twice the number of outfits Vivian actually needed – two per day in anticipation of blowouts and projectile spit-up – along with her bathtub, shampoo, a towel and washcloths, lotion, wipes, the entire diaper caddy, Aquaphor, bottles, the stroller frame, the diaper bag, several hats because it was the dead of winter, pajamas and sleep sacks, every onesie she owned, and the baby monitor and its various parts. And that was just for her.

On my end, there was the boppy, nursing cover, burp cloths, nursing bras, my breast pump and its various parts, and breast milk storage bags.

Of course, packing all this along with my daughter herself into my four-door sedan required meticulous strategery. And then I had to unpack it all over again upon arrival. At which point, by God, I planned to stay a while.

…Now

For such tiny little things, babies do not travel light.

Vivian is now three years old and packing for her is much easier. For our most recent trip to Richmond over Valentine’s Day weekend, I tossed a couple of outfits and a pair of jammies into her little Sesame Street suitcase, along with her lotion, hair product, a comb, and some barrettes. It took all of ten minutes, whereas packing for her as an infant was a day-long ordeal.

Toddlerhood may have its challenges, but packing for excursions is not one of them.

On the other hand, however, the trips themselves are not nearly as quiet and tranquil.

Do you prefer traveling with babies or older kids?

Bemused, Jim explained that he had done all of that… and yet at the sight of her lunch, Vivian had dissolved into tears.

A daddy’s girl at play…

“She said I didn’t do it the way Mommy does it,” he said helplessly. And there in the office supply aisle at Target, I let slip a tiny smirk of satisfaction.

At the time, we were coming off Christmas vacation, during which Vivian and I had both been felled by the flu. Jim had spent much of his break taking care of the two of us, and father and daughter had bonded – to the point that Vivian now often favored him over me. It was a natural development and one that I did not take personally.

And yet…

I knew it was both petty and juvenile to feel any sense of triumph over my husband’s revelation… but I did. I still had clout. I was still relevant!

Then again, the following conversation took place between my daughter and me only a few days later:

HER: I love Daddy. He’s my best, best, best, best, best friend!
ME: Awww, that’s sweet! And what about Mommy – am I your best friend, too?
HER: Ummmm… no.
ME: Oh. Okay.

And that was that.

Obviously, toddlers (and dogs) are the only creatures that can get away with such frank nepotism. It simply comes with the age and can (and often does) change by the minute – in the face of a firm “No” from me, Vivian won’t hesitate to turn on the charm with Jim, and vice versa. She is as cunning as she is candid, that one.

I also have no doubt that the individual strengths Jim and I bring to the parenting table factor into our daughter’s often fickle favoritism. Jim, for instance, has no problem joining Vivian on the floor for extended periods of time to fiddle with Legos and building blocks and various other toddler playthings – something that, for me, triggers a sudden deluge of panic for every unfinished item on my never-ending to-do list. Therefore, I’m already at a disadvantage whenever my daughter turns to me with pleading eyes and utters the words, “Mommy, will you play with me?”

On the other hand, I love to read books, sing songs, take family outings, and I excel at more structured activities; you’d be hard-pressed to ever hear Vivian request to bake cookies with her dad.

…and at rest.

Then there’s the ubiquitous parenting game of good cop/bad cop, in which I tend to play the latter. And I doubt my role as the no-nonsense disciplinarian scores nearly as many points against my husband’s goofy, fun-loving dad.

All that aside, however, I know my daughter simply treasures her time with her daddy. Jim is an elementary school teacher, and for nine months out of the year, he leaves for work in the morning long before Vivian wakes up. So, I can empathize when she clings to him in the evenings, and I understand when it’s him, not me, she prefers to fix her breakfast on those precious weekend mornings.

And though I may be greeted to a steady refrain of I want Daddy most days, I know there are moments when it’s me she prefers – such as the recent instance when she informed Jim, “I love you, Daddy, but right now I need a hug from Mommy.”

Besides, when it’s him she wants to rock her back to sleep upon waking in the wee hours of the morning for no discernible reason, I can’t help but think… maybe playing favorites isn’t always such a bad thing.

Does your child play favorites? Do you ever resent it? 

Or not.

On my daughter’s first pre-school assessment, under cognitive development skills, her teacher had noted, “Vivian follows two-and-three step directions very well when she wants to.”  This did not surprise me. To say that my child is strong-willed would be an understatement.

We first attempted potty training in April 2012 when Vivian, now age three, started showing interest and awareness in the toilet. Which is to say she began barging in on her father and me while we sat on it, peppering us with questions about what we were doing while we were trying to do it.

My husband and I approached potty training with the same lack of protocol with which we’ve handled every parenting challenge flung our way thus far – we winged it. Believing in the child-oriented approach, we essentially let Vivian lead the way, aided (we thought) by pull-ups and the promise of a reward every time she used the potty – a sticker for pee, M&Ms for poop.

Vivian, age 18 months, testing out her brand new potty seat, which she would go on to shun repeatedly.

Initially, Vivian took to this quasi-system like a charm, leaving me under the mistaken impression that potty training had gotten a bad rap. But after about a week, the novelty wore off and she realized that pull-ups are really no different than diapers. And then we experienced the dreaded regression.

This continued throughout the summer, interspersed with periods of potty usage that dashed our hopes but ultimately proved inconsequential. I tried, at times, to shift gears and use the Potty Planner Method, guiding her to the bathroom at intervals like she practices at pre-school. But this approach lay in direct contrast to her powerful sense of autonomy; she was John Locke to my Jack Shepherd, raging, “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do!”

I knew she knew how and when to use the potty, but was nevertheless hesitant to issue the full-court press and simply stick her in underwear. We had tried that once, and the memory of Vivian’s stricken face as she realized too late that she had to go still haunted me. “It’s like Hansel and Gretel if they were potty training,” muttered my husband cleaning up the trail of pee left in her wake as she vainly hightailed it to the bathroom.

So, I maintained the status quo. But I was growing exasperated. And so one Sunday evening in late September, when I found myself changing yet another pair of wet pull-ups, I asked Vivian the one question that had been occupying my thoughts for months.

“Sweetie, if you know how to go pee-pee in the potty, then why do you keep using your pull-ups?”

She in turn fixed me with an unflappable gaze and replied, “Because I can.”

Oh, no she di-ent!

Who do you think you are? I wanted to say. And from whom, exactly, do you think you inherited this pigheadedness? You can’t throw down a challenge like that and expect it to go unanswered. Oh, no. I will see your apathy and your stubbornness and raise you one pair of non-absorbent underwear!

Instead, I simply looked at my husband and said, “Okay, then. This ends now.” And proceeded to pluck a pair of undies from her chest of drawers.

“Panties!” cried Vivian, delighted.

“Yes, and if you go pee-pee in them, they will be very wet and uncomfortable and you will not be a happy little girl,” I replied. “Do you understand?”

She nodded solemnly. And would you like to know what happened next?

The child went on to pee in the potty five times before bedtime. Five times in a three-hour period.

Two weeks – and, surprisingly, only a handful of accidents later – she was fully potty trained. And true to her decisive disposition, she has never looked back.

And so that is how we potty-trained our strong-willed child…

Call it the Battle of Wits Method.

Which potty training method(s) worked best for you, or which one(s) do you plan to use when the time comes?

However, I remember staring at my few-words-and-many-needs toddlers, who, for example, insisted she could buckle herself in the car seat (no she couldn’t), or believed he could climb a bird feeder (not unless I wanted to buy it).

Here were my ten favorite things to do with my toddlers (divided into three categories because I have so much time on my hands now).

1. Go to an ENCLOSED outdoor playground: Unless I wanted to spend my afternoon playing keep-the-kid-from-dying-in-the-street.
   • The park at Lombardy and Park Ave in the Fan
   • The “Train Playground” by Thompson and Stuart in Carytown (plus you see trains going by)
   • The Westover Hills United Methodist Church playground at Westover Hills Blvd and King William Road in Westover Hills (has a preschool though so check hours)
   • The Third Presbyterian Church playground at Forest Ave near Patterson in the West End (has a preschool though so check hours)
2. Go to an ENCLOSED indoor play area: Preferably when everyone else was in school or napping since my children thought naps were for chumps.
   • Romp n’ Roll open gym (various locations – costs money unless enrolled in a class)
   • Cartwheels and Coffee at Cary Street and Cleveland Ave in Carytown (costs money)
   • The Children’s Museum especially between 12 & 2 p.m. (costs money or need membership — we asked for a membership for Christmas two toddler years in a row)
3. Meandering walks: Toddlers have only been walking for five minute to five months so walking ANYWHERE is exciting. Just be prepared with snacks, water, diapers and frequent stopping to admire small rocks.
   • Cheswick Park across from Henrico Doctors Hospital on Forest Ave. The path behind the playground is a small loop with a bridge. The perfect length when I ever got off the bridge. Stroller friendly for the most part.
   • The sidewalks and alleyways of Carytown. I lived there when E was born so I might be biased but walking through the alleys and throwing rocks in puddles are some of my favorite memories. Park anywhere in the Museum District.
   • The Mall. I prefer Chesterfield Town Center or Regency Mall* for toddler walks. They are even more enjoyable if the kids don’t notice there are STORES. *I wrote this before the shooting in Regency Mall. I’m hoping that was an isolated incident and am going to keep it on the list.

I felt so nostalgic writing this list. Here’s my oldest a meandering Carytown toddler walk.

Please add your favorite enclosed playgrounds, indoor play areas and walks in the Richmond area with your toddler. It’s only been 18 months since I’ve had one, but I didn’t go everywhere that’s fun. Or did I?

Author’s note: If you’re looking for potty training advice or tips, I’m afraid you have come to the wrong place.  If you’re looking to commiserate with another unsuccessful mom, or perhaps you want to feel better about yourself, read on…

Potty training a testy toddler is my least favorite parenting task.  Seriously, on the Scale of Crappy Parenting Tasks it falls after public temper tantrums and cleaning up after a sick kid in the middle of the night.  I have yet to master the art of potty training, even though technically two of my kids are potty trained.  (Thank the Lord, since they are 6 and 8.)

I like to joke that I’ve never actually successfully potty trained any of my kids.  But it’s more a truth than a joke.  My oldest was a rule-follower to a fault, would ask me what the rules were whenever we went somewhere new, and would freak out if another child wasn’t following the rules.  But when it came to potty training, all the rules went out the window – she was NOT interested.

I tried all the typical mom-tricks: M&M’s, stickers, play dates with potty-trained friends, shaming (“Your friends are doing it!” Classy.)  Nothing worked.  Months went by and it became clear she had no intention of doing it on my timeline.  And then one weekend I went away for a kid-free girls’ trip, and came home to a fully-trained toddler.  I was a little peeved at the obvious You-can’t-tell-me-what-to-do message, but I was nonetheless thrilled that we were finally done.

Then came along my second child.  One day, not long after she turned 2, she realized her big sister didn’t wear diapers, and she potty trained herself.  Just like that.  Not one accident, straight to underwear even at bedtime.  I can take credit for absolultely none of it.

So here I am with my third.  She’ll be 3 in November, and the train’s been slowly making its way toward Potty Town for months, but a big household move and a trip abroad this summer kept us from really focusing on the issue.  A few potty successes had me feeling optimistic, cocky even… but parenting of course has a way of smacking you upside the head.

“NO!!”  This is what I hear these days when I suggest going to the potty.  OK, fine, we’ll take it slow.  We’ll go at it again when she’s feeling more amenable.  Could be later today, could be later this week.  Whatever, this is not my first rodeo, I know enough about parenting to know not to sweat the small stuff.

And then this dreaded email:

“All children must be fully potty trained before starting preschool in September.  If your child is not fully trained, we will hold their spot and they’ll be able to join us at school when they’re completely trained.”

Oh, hell no.

Why, you ask, did I not know this information before?  Simple answer: I have 3 kids.  I don’t have a complete grasp on any of them.  One of them could have a tattoo right now and I might not even know about it.  The luxury of knowing everything about all of my kids ended with the words, “Honey, let’s have another baby!”

The email from my toddler’s preschool put me in an immediate state of panic.  I have waited so patiently for September to come.  I’m thiiiiiiiiiiissss close to having free-time again.  Three hours a day, three days a week: sounds like Heaven to me right now.  I can’t lose this.

Operation Potty Bootcamp started immediately.  Apparently Phase 1 of the Operation involves me freaking out while my 8 year old calmly consults What to Expect in the Toddler Years.  Seems apropos for how things work around here.

After calming down, I start Phase 2.  (But first I pray… Come on, Grandma, you did this 10 times.  Help a girl out.)  Phase 2 involves putting reluctant toddler in underwear 100% of the time, except for naps and bed.  Let’s just say so far not many M&M’s have been dispensed.

No matter how much we place her on the potty and playfully cajole and reasonably explain and offer rewards, my toddler still yells “NO!” and runs away.  I am at a loss.

I’m not sure yet what happens in Phase 3, but when I daydream about it, it involves Super Nanny and a stiff drink.

I used to be the kind of mom who breezily offered the old, “Oh, no kid has ever gone to college in diapers!” with a wink and a chuckle.  But now that my valuable free-time is being threatened, I’m in panic mode.

But really, no kid has ever gone to college in diapers… right?!?!

By Alex Iwashyna, blogger at Late Enough

I never feel more dumb than when my children reach the age of two. (I clearly don’t have teenagers yet.)  Because Why is the sky blue?, Why is water wet?, and Why did that bird poop on our car? were not on my SATs or MCATs nor did my diaper bag include an answer bookley.  And I’m pretty annoyed about it.

Last month, my youngest hit this milestone. The WHY MAMA milestone.

So here are ten questions that I have faced and failed. Even Google can’t answer all of them (which should make me feel better but doesn’t).

(The questions tend to actually be in the order of I SAY SOMETHING and my daughter responds WHY MAMA? But for simplicity sake, I put the WHY in the beginning.)

1. Why can’t I sleep with my Hello Kitty electric toothbrush?

2. Why can’t I pee on the back deck?

3. Why are you putting on makeup?

4. Why is {insert anything happening in a movie} happening, Mama?

5. Why is it raining?

6. Why are Dada’s shoes too big for me?

7. Why are our private parts private?

8. Why can’t I lick the cat?

9. Why do I have to wear underwear to school?

10. Why can’t a decorate our front door with stickers?

She asked after the fact. Clearly.

I finally succumbed to the dreaded: BECAUSE I SAID SO.

Please don’t tell my mother.

The Learning Experience has three locations in Richmond, VA.

Until I talked with a friend who takes advantage of The Learning Experience child development center, I had no idea how much they had to offer!

With summer approaching and moms and grandmoms looking for interactive, educational opportunities for kids, I quickly learned that this is a “must see” opportunity for Richmond parents and grandparents.

The Learning Experience transitions to summer activities with Kid Camp and Cub Camp programs, making it easy to engage children in recreational activities that entertain, teach and engage them. Their approach to fun camps and activities revolves around healthy activity, safety, and fun.

Whether your children are infants, toddlers or older, they offer lots of activities for ages up to 12 years.

Some of the great opportunities include:

• Themed weeks
• Live entertainment
• Wacky water play
• Arts and crafts
• Science exploration
• Fun and adventurous field trips
• And more

They’re hosting an open house on Saturday, March 26, 2011 from 11:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. at their 3111 Lauderdale Drive location. This is the perfect time to learn more about them and register for 9 week, 7 week or 5 week programs for the summer.

Watch your mail for a coupon worth $25 off registration too. This is one summer resource you don’t want to miss. Your kids will love it!

Visit The Learning Experience for more information or call them at 804.364.1004.