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Unless you live under a rock, you\u2019ve already seen the instantly iconic images of Princess Kate standing outside of the hospital in a red, Diana-esque dress a mere SEVEN hours after giving birth to her third child. Suffice it to say, I\u2019ve had dentist appointments that lasted longer than it took her to labor, deliver, apply make-up, and exit the hospital. And naturally, if you\u2019ve seen these images, then you\u2019ve likely seen the comments, opinions, and, yes, I dare say, tirades, that have resulted. As much as I want to scream at the universe, \u201cWHHHYYY?!!\u201d when I see someone so perfectly coiffed, adorned, and wearing high heels moments after the train wreck that is childbirth, I find myself in the position of coming to the postpartum defense her royal highness.<\/p>\n
A few years ago, there was a major trend on social media of women who went viral for showing off \u201ctrue\u201d postpartum bodies. They posed for selfies in bikinis or showed off their jelly bellies and stretch marks in crop tops and spandex. \u00a0And I absolutely applaud them for their honesty and willingness to put it all out there. How great is it that we finally have examples other than what we see in the mirror of what the human body can look like after stretching to the breaking point?<\/p>\n
But the comments about how Princess Kate isn\u2019t the real deal following her postpartum photo shoot got me to thinking. Sure, Kate looks amazing. But think of what would happen if she didn\u2019t. While the rest of us can reside in the safety of knowing that photos of our swollen faces and broken bodies will go no further than our personal photo albums or our social media network, Kate has tabloids, paparazzi, and an international public ready to pounce and dissect every misplaced hair.<\/p>\n
The point is, women don\u2019t \u201clook great\u201d after childbirth because they are perfect, superhuman, or even because they are a princess. Anyone who\u2019s had a baby \u201clooks great\u201d if they are not wearing an orange jumpsuit because they killed their husband during labor when he suggested that they \u201cstay calm and breathe.\u201d They deserve even greater credit if they do not kill him in his sleep in the coming weeks when, yet again, he \u201cdidn\u2019t hear the baby crying.\u201d (He heard his alarm clock just fine\u2026and guess what? So did the baby\u2026who started crying again.)<\/p>\n
In fact, any woman who makes it out of the house with matching shoes (yes, slippers count) \u201clooks great.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll admit, from labor to high heels in a matter of hours is pretty extreme. But let\u2019s keep in mind, our girl Kate isn\u2019t common folk. She\u2019s a princess. She not only carries some extra baby weight; she carries the weight of a nation \u2013 or at least the pressure of being the face of a nation. It\u2019s the same with many celebrities. We say they can only look that good because they have personal stylists, nannies, trainers, and chefs. And you know what? You\u2019re exactly right.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n But that\u2019s a lot of pressure, too. I GUARANTEE that if you had to be in a designer dress on the red carpet 3 months after childbirth, or even on the hospital steps to smile and wave when what you really wanted to do was cry a little and sleep, you\u2019d do everything in your power to put your parts back where they started, then you\u2019d shove them all in a set of Spanx from your neck to your knees.<\/p>\n I get it, though. It\u2019s frustrating when something that seems so hard for us looks so easy to someone else. And it\u2019s not that we don\u2019t need to celebrate the \u201creality\u201d of childbirth or accept what we really look like after giving birth \u2013 seven hours or seven months later. But we can also feel a pretty high level of relief that no one expects us to look like Princess Kate moments after birth.<\/p>\n The fact of the matter is, for Princess Kate, \u201creal\u201d is exactly what we saw. Girlfriend had to carry a baby for nine months in the public eye pretending she didn\u2019t have heartburn, backaches, and all the other weird and wonderful things that come with pregnancy. She then had to have the baby (however it might have happened) and leave the hospital with a crowd of absolute strangers prepared to scrutinize her every move. I can almost guarantee that our girl got home, grabbed the first pair of pajamas she could find, told Prince William to stop saying \u201cshe did great because she KNOWS she did great,\u201d then begged the royal doctors to let her sleep for just two hours.<\/p>\n We often discredit ourselves by comparing our reality of childbirth, parenting, and postpartum experiences to others. And that\u2019s why it is nice to see the nitty gritty being talked about openly because many of us have a common experience \u2013 and it\u2019s a bloody, exhausting one filled bodily fluids (ours and the babies), sleep deprivation, and no showers for days. But when it comes to our bodies and how we look before or after having a baby, the \u201creality\u201d is a combination of circumstance, choice, external demand (or a lack thereof), and some simple genetics.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve had three kids and I don\u2019t have a perfect body by any means. No time for exercise, wine after another long day, and Cheez-Its as a breakfast food make that kind of hard. But I\u2019m ok with where I am. In fact, I\u2019ve been lucky in a lot of ways. I didn\u2019t get stretch marks thanks to pure, luck-of-the-draw genetics (I owe you one, mom). I left the hospital all three times wearing regular clothes, not maternity clothes. And I usually dropped back down to below my pre-pregnancy weight within a few months. But I was just as \u201creal\u201d as the next bone-weary, vomit-covered, hormonal bag of crazy out there.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve seen just as many women get slammed for looking like models after having a baby as others who have been scorned for their sags and wiggly bits. Aren\u2019t we \u201cbody shaming\u201d both? Should the super fit be made to feel guilty along with the ones who are accused of \u201cletting it all go\u201d? And sure, we are pushing the pendulum pretty hard from a decades-old idea of virtually unachievable beauty and stick-thin idealism. But we need to be careful and stay on-point.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s celebrate women who embrace the body that brought a life into the world, even if it was ravaged in the process. But let\u2019s not isolate women who are able to give birth and still wear their pre-pregnancy jeans. Some of these women just got lucky that their body snapped back, others work really hard at it because it\u2019s what makes them feel good.<\/p>\n At the end of the day, ladies \u2013 if you\u2019ve given birth, you\u2019ve either pushed a watermelon-sized being out of your\u2026well, you know where\u2026or you\u2019ve been cut open WHILE CONSCIOUS, had your internal organs MOVED and then had that same watermelon-sized being forcibly removed. And prior to THAT, you spent nine months with another human being inside of you \u2013 living, growing and acting like your ribs were a kickboxing target.<\/p>\n Bottom line: You are a hardcore, she-beast, warrior goddess. And yes, that includes Princess Kate.<\/p>\n Anyone who has ever had an infant, by birth or adoption, has gone without sleep for days, has had every bodily fluid imaginable shot at them with projectile force, wondered if you would ever have another shower, and cried because the screaming banshee that replaced their sweet baby won\u2019t stop banshee-ing. If you\u2019ve made it this far, then I\u2019m here to tell you, mama \u2013 you are an angelic being and should be granted sainthood.<\/p>\n And if you\u2019ve ever loved a child, by birth, adoption, or fostering, then you know what it is like to wear your heart outside of your body. You have given your power completely and entirely away to another person who would live in their own filth if not for you, who demands that you peel their grapes, who continuously loses just one shoe (and will well into their teen years), and who actually has the audacity to question your infinite wisdom. But then that same person makes the sunshine and the angels sing with a simple \u201cI love you, Mom.\u201d You, too, are the bravest of the brave and a goddess like the world has never seen. Future generations should be writing songs about you.<\/p>\n I have seen the saying \u201cI am a tiger and proud of my stripes\u201d in reference to the \u201creal\u201d postpartum body. I do not have stripes, but I assure you, I am no less a tiger for it. I have three stunningly, breathtakingly, magically beautiful daughters. And some were easier to get here than others. Some took a greater emotional toll, some a greater physical toll. But each one brought with them pure magic, and I, unlike Kate, was fortunate enough to know that the light shone on them, not on me.<\/p>\n Face it, some women are going to walk out of the delivery room looking like they\u2019ve been through a war. Some women are going to walk out looking like a queen \u2013 or princess as it were.<\/p>\n It is up to us, brave tribe of mother-warriors, to teach acceptance and love. It is up to us to encourage and applaud other women, not because of what they look like but because of what they do every day. Let\u2019s clap our hands for those who look just like they did before they had a baby \u2013 and let\u2019s cheer for those who don\u2019t. But let\u2019s cheer because THEY HAD A BABY. And they are ALL tigers, just like you.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Unless you live under a rock, you\u2019ve already seen the instantly iconic images of Princess Kate standing outside of the hospital in a red, Diana-esque dress a mere SEVEN hours after giving birth to her third child. Suffice it to say, I\u2019ve had dentist appointments that lasted longer than it took her to labor, deliver, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":76,"featured_media":126567,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[12818,53],"tags":[13193,5515,5516,13474],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/richmondmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/126566"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/richmondmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/richmondmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/richmondmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/76"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/richmondmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=126566"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/richmondmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/126566\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/richmondmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/126567"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/richmondmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=126566"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/richmondmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=126566"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/richmondmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=126566"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}