Dearest Winter,

We hate you.

You have overstayed your visit and you smell like fish.

We have done puzzles, played cards, watched movies, built armies of snowmen, sledded countless hills and been in two mad rushes at the supermarket where we all seem to be looking for milk and bread though half of us are dairy intolerant and gluten free.

We have frozen day after day in your icy winds and even going to the mailbox seems like a punishment greater than death.

Our preschool age children are about to stage a coup d’etat if they don’t get outside to run around but instead they run like rabid squirrels around our first floors, the same route that we ourselves endlessly pace, stopping every so often to peek between the blind in search of sunshine.

We have argued time and time again with our tweenagers who all want to still wear shorts even though it’s below freezing and we haven’t felt our toes for four weeks.

Nothing has changed with our teenagers because we aren’t even sure they know it’s snowing unless someone texts them that fact.

We’ve had enough of plastering on a smile and trudging through the days pretending to be cheery.

We’ve had enough of frantically Googling indoor places to take our kids that hopefully cost less than a month’s worth of a college education.

We don’t want to defrost our cars and we can’t afford our heating bills any longer.

We’ve missed more days of school and work then we can count on our frozen digits. We are actually starting to miss them both in a sentimental way; we long for school bells and cafeteria lines and parking garages and paystubs and even the kids aren’t dropping ice cubes in the toilet or wearing their pajamas inside out anymore.

You have muddied our boots, ruined good shoes, trashed our lawns and put holes in our sleds.

You are a brute and half of Richmond has Seasonal Affective Disorder, appropriately called SAD.

Richmond is SAD.

So, Winter, be on your way.

We are looking for a spring in our step and the summer sun on our doorstep and when they come we won’t complain one minute about the excessive heat, the high cooling bills, the sweat that pools behind our knees, the smell of chlorine in our children’s hair, the insufferable allergies or the fact that all our children will be home every minute of every hour of every day for three months straight.

Promise.

Sincerely,

Richmond Moms

I call this one: Fake Spring In A Vase

The Northerner in me loves that we got somewhat of a real winter in Richmond, but now it’s spring and even I’m ready for sun and flowers and no mittens. But the weather doesn’t care what I want and I can’t afford to fly us all to St. Thomas so I decided we needed to gather all the cheerful online things for little pick-me-ups between putting on those snow boots again.

When I need to pretend spring is here, since I have no idea what flowers will come up where in my new house and the weather has made me hesitant to plant anything, I drool over the Pinterest flower garden search knowing I will never do anything that remotely looks like the photos and am okay with that after my Pinterest hair fiasco.

Other times, I need a quick laugh while not making eye contact with the windows, I read Lamebook, which takes ridiculous Facebook status and comments and collects them in one hilarious place. I have yet to see anyone I know but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.

I may be too old to stay up late and just cold enough to miss Conan, but I’ll admit that I like Jimmy Fallon’s happy Tonight Show enough to follow it on YouTube. Between bringing out the best in Idina Menzel beyond getting her name right and convincing Kevin Bacon to be footloose, I think they’ve made a good choice with their host.

For a thinking-man’s funny, I hit up McSweeney’s or The Onion. (If you don’t believe that you have to think to appreciate The Onion, check out Literally Unbelievable.)

For the beautiful in the world, I look to Tree Porn on Tumblr (although I will warn you, you may see some trees with snow on them). Or if you really miss spring, you can catch the bugs and leaves of instagrammer @rickyohead.

I hope this list gives you a few moments of happiness and warmth before you trudge through our pseudo-spring. I know that I will be glancing at my phone between snowflakes (and later, pollen sneezes {sigh}).

Great Wolf Lodge has teamed up with candy maker Just Born to create a gingerbread house to put all others to shame!! Over 5,000 candies decorate the life-sized house and 1,320 pounds of sugar was used – wow, talk about a sugar rush.  
No, you can’t take a bite of it (delicious as it may look and smell) but you can enjoy breakfast, lunch, or dinner inside the cottage. There is a $10 entry fee to dine inside the gingerbread house, and the proceeds from your meal go to Big Brothers and Big Sisters.

Of course, Great Wolf Lodge hasn’t stopped there. For those of you dreaming of a white Christmas, look no further than the Great Wolf Lobby where the forecast brings daily snowfall (where else can you play in the “snow” and ride a water slide in the same place?).

Kids can get crafty at the North Pole University and earn a “Snowpoloma” and a special surprise gift. Send that last-minute Christmas letter to Santa or sit down with the big man himself when you visit with Mr. & Mrs. Claus.

Once again, Great Wolf Lodge packs so much to do in one weekend, you’ll have to remind yourself to visit the waterpark!  If you don’t have much planned for your holiday break, try to squeeze a getaway to Williamsburg in, don’t forget, you can use your Richmondmom.com Savvy Saver Card for 20% off the best available rate.

Great Wolf Lodge is a sponsor of Richmondmom.com