Dear Richmondmom,
I’ve been poking around trying to find information on dance classes and sports for my kids. I’d really like to see an article or series of articles that unpacks this sort of thing for me. I look at the websites but I always have unanswered questions. For example…what are the costs? hidden costs? gear? We are on such a tight budget that everything matters and I have to plan for all of it. Are there options for second hand gear? What do all the codes mean? (soccer websites are the worst for codes). Should I plan to volunteer? Am I expected to drop off or expected to stay? What about my other child while I’m there? How far in advance should I be signing up for stuff? Do we have to do the recitals? (fancy dresses I can’t afford). Am I going to feel like a killjoy when I say we are not doing the recital? I love a cute picture of my kids as much as the next mom but I don’t need photo ops – I want good, fun learning experiences. Who has a good reputation? What is appropriate for what ages and what is good for beginners?
To be honest the only things I’ve signed my kids up for in the past two years are a couple of day classes with parks and rec because I feel so mired down with questions when I try to figure all this stuff out. I’d love to see you unpack this a little.
I’m sure it isn’t as hard as it seems. Other people do it. I’m afraid this is sounding a little neurotic but what can I say? Can you help?
Thanks for listening,
Kim W.
Dear Kim W.,
There are a ton of choices out there but I think you have already taken the first step – you are clear about what you want.
When I start my kids in a new activity the first step is deciding our level of seriousness. Is this something the kids want to do? Who is this activity really for?
Am I putting them in this activity to expose them to something new?
Are they really good at this activity and want to take it to the next level?
Are you hoping to get your kid a scholarship to college or live off their success?
There are plenty of options to find your fit. Some ways to help find the place that suits you is to ask around. And you may find the same names come up over and over so they must be doing something right!
If you are online ask your Facebook friends or send out a tweet on Twitter.
If your kids have friends in activities go with them. Many places have “bring a friend” day and if they don’t they are always welcoming. They want your business. It’s in their best interest to show you around, let you watch, and often try a free class.
Hang out with the parents and listen. Are the parents talking about their kids? Other kids? Comparing? Complaining? Are they raving? Do they ask if you are new? Are they welcoming.? Do they offer to answer questions? The culture of the parents will give you a pretty good idea of how serious/competitive things can be.
Money is a big factor. If you have a budget stick to it. There are activities in all kinds of price ranges. And your child will grow up fine without being in an activity every day. My son did not try lacrosse because of the cost of gear. And sometimes the costs are different based on gender. He didn’t want to make a commitment to that sport. But there is not the same costs for girls in the same sport so the decision may be different for my daughters. Again, these businesses want your money. You will find there is often a variety of payment options – up front (which sometimes comes with a discount), quarterly or monthly. There are registration fees, class/activity fees, recital fees, fundraising fees, etc.. The hidden costs question is a good one to ask the parents while you are hanging in the waiting area while your child is trying out their free class!! Due to current economic conditions most places have been very supportive and understanding and have not raised costs and tried to limit extras. Many places will offer discounted rates for multiple children and/or multiple classes. And I’ve seen a lot of bartering going on. If you can make costumes, design sets, take pictures, help with IT issues – whatever skills you have – can potentially be traded. Again you have to ask. You will find plenty of opportunities for used gear. Kids grow quickly and parents would rather sell or trade gear than collect it in the closet! Also, I have seen cleats, dance shoes, athletic gear at a variety of thrift stores. Also, look out for early registration – sometimes they will throw in water bottles, soccer balls etc. And the pictures. I have never been forced to by any pictures. And, if you can’t/don’t want to be in a recital the option is yours. Not everybody does everything.
Most places don’t have a problem with you and siblings waiting. There is often a place to hang out. BUT – you and other children should not disrupt the classes or the facility from being able to conduct business. Also, this does not mean leave your siblings to be watched by other parents or staff while you run out! If the class is an hour or less and my child is still young or needs me i.e. help going to bathroom or is fearful etc. I wait. If my kids are acting up or are tired I have all of them wait in the car. Otherwise I leave. I have other things I need to do. But that decision has a lot to do with your kids and your comfort level. If it is a class you participate with your child more often than not other siblings are not welcome unless you pay for them also.
When to register is a bit tricky. Often those already in classes will have an opportunity to register first. March is the big opening for registering for summer activities and camps. I know some places have already started registering for the fall but I would be ready (budgeted) to register by July. After July 4 and the stores switch to fall that is your signal to start thinking fall too. For Winter and Spring activities you will see registrations open up early November. If there is a new activity the kids want to try I: a) wait a season and see if they are sill asking; b) put the registration dates on my calendar with alerts turned on (if you are still paper & pencil put 1 week and 1 day notices).
A quick tip about registering for classes and money: Instead of stuff you can always give your kids activities for birthdays and holidays and you can ask others to do the same. Maybe a grandparent would be interested in paying the registration or class fee?
The people involved in kids’ activities LOVE kids. They have to like kids to be with them all day. They want what is best for your kids and you. Instructors and staff will help you place your child. Does your kid have experience taking classes? Have they played group/team sports? Are they good at listening and following directions? They want you to be happy; because your satisfaction is good for business. The best advertising is happy clients talking about them.
Here is my biggest BUT – Make sure you keep yourself in mind!! How much driving are you doing? Convenience is a factor. Is it close to home or close to my other kids’ activities. Is there a USPS Office near by or grocery store so I can run my other errands. Are there options for you to carpool? How late does the activity go? In the middle of winter driving around at 6pm can seem really late when it gets dark early.
And for the running around and waiting, have supplies handy. I keep a bin in the car with all the items necessary for homework, plus coloring books, crayons, reading books, snacks, wipes, extra diapers, etc. If your kid(s) is involved in an outdoor activity don’t forget chair, blanket, extra ball (for sibling) and umbrella. I also keep windbreakers in the car!
In regard to codes I can’t be much help. And I have found a lot of times the person I ask doesn’t know either.
Best wishes,
A Richmond Mom – Kate Semp, SAHM of 5
@ketilave
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