by Kate Semp
Some Richmondmom.com readers may follow me on Twitter. And, for those that do they know that it was a pretty emotionally charged weekend for my husband and me. My husband does not have a good relationship with his ex-wife. And that has impacted their relationships with their daughter.
I often say to my husband, “If you could work it out you wouldn’t be divorced.” But that truly over simplifies the actions and emotions that not only led to the divorce but the current state of their relationship. So my back up line to all parties of divorce, “You have to love your child(ren) more than you hate your ex.” Hate is a pretty tough word. But divorce is pretty tough. It’s ugly. It does not bring out the best in people. And, for most of us, when we are hurt and/or angry we don’t behave to the best of our abilities.
Here’s the thing. If you divorce and have children you have to remember
A) You chose to get married.
B) You chose to have kids.
C) You chose to get a divorce.
D) Your child(ren) didn’t make a single choice.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy. But not only do you choose what your next step is you can choose how you behave.
I am not lecturing. I come from a place of hurt. I see my husband hurt. I see my step-daughter and biological children hurt. I see the ex hurt. I hurt. But it is my JOB to be a responsible parent and intervene when it is not easy, voice my concerns, give and promise love every day and believe that no matter what mistakes we may make as parents we can do better by our children and give them tools to be strong and successful.
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@ketilave
