By Alex Iwashyna, blogger at Late Enough 
I had to stop myself at nine and give myself an ultimatum for number ten. Otherwise, it was just depressing.
1. Teaching my children about time. Because now “I’ll be done in a second” means I get exactly ONE SECOND to do it. PS. It took me five seconds to write that sentence.
2. Teaching my children to say excuse me. Because now when they say “excuse me” I have to stop doing what I’m doing. I should’ve defined “excuse me” as “something you say and then wait 500 seconds for the person to answer.”
3. Teaching my children how to turn on the television. Because the epic battle between the the remote control and the TV’s on button when it’s time to stop watching is costing us a lot of batteries.
4. Teaching my children to be nice. Because a stranger’s ability to ignore “hellos” and frantic waving is almost as impressive as my ability to murder them WITH MY EYES.
5. Teaching my children how to dress themselves
N's outfit. To go fishing in.
6. Teaching my children that car windows go up and down. Because it’s 100 degrees in the shade or raining when they want to show me what they learned.
7. Teaching my children how delicious cookie dough is. Because now, when I put cookies in the oven, everyone cries.
8. Teaching my children a strong and fearless appreciation for the outdoors. Because I don’t want to meet Mr. Worm. In my shoe. The following day.
9. Teaching my children how to use my iPhone. I can't even finish this thought because my son just called Romp n' Roll to confirm his birthday party plans.
10. But the one mistake I won’t make is teaching my children how to write:
Exactly.
Wish me luck!
(Photo sources: My iPhone and HuffPo)
