Why does it take something life-changing to spur us into action?
Last year I participated in (and I use that term loosely) NaNoWriMo – the national marathon novel writing event that happens every November. It costs nothing to join and the only thing holding you to the goal of writing 2,000 words per day is your own personal honor code. NaNoWriMo was important to me. Besides loving to write I have three novels in various stages of progression, a children’s book in the works, and I’ve recently concepted a screenplay.
Anyone who knows me knows that I can reason my way through anything. You want to justify a pair of $200 jeans even though you have no savings in the bank? Call me. You want to ditch the internal guilt trip after indulging a container of ice cream and brownies
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when you’re on a diet? I’m your girl. Feel bad for flipping that person off when you were driving to church this morning? I’ll assure you that God totally gets it.
Needless to say, I didn’t stick to NaNoWriMo at all. And I’ve got 17 exceptional reasons (one for each day I wrote nothing) that will have you nodding your head in complete understanding – “well, of course you couldn’t write that day,” you’ll say, “the weight of the entire world was upon your shoulders! What else could you do?” Dear reader, you couldn’t be more right.
You know the expression “come hell or high water?” It takes hell or high water to motivate me to action. Because at that point, what do you have left to lose?
About a decade ago I broke up with a long-term boyfriend and went to Paris. A year after that I graduated from college and joined a dance company that performed on stage at the Landmark Theater. After the birth of my son I opened my own business. A few years ago I lost my father to a severe heart attack, and I ran my first 8K less than a week after his funeral. Every time I get my world rocked, it shakes up my fear enough so I can have a breakthrough.
Now, after a separation and newfound status as a single mom I’m staring down my bucket list and coming up with some pretty amazing excuses for why I can’t accomplish my goals. My old standby is the advanced guilt trip I give myself because writing will mean sacrificing even more precious time with my son.
But why does it take something to shake us to the core before we grab a dream of ours and make it happen? Why do we have to constantly be reminded that life is too short? With every passing day I can see changes in my son – I know life is too short.
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I don’t know how you validate chasing your dreams and fulfilling your goals when you’re preoccupied with helping your child dream their dreams and shape their own goals. But I guess I’ll find out. I understand that I’m a better mom – and an incredible role model – to be someone who works to achieve her dreams.
So what do you get when you mix a single mom and dreams? Well, I still don’t really know, but come hell or high water – or both – I’m going to write these books.
