“They punch me in the jaw, strangle me, they knock things out of my hand, take things from me, sit on me. They push me so far that I want to become the bully.” –Alex, 12 years old
There’s still time to go see “Bully” at the Regal Westhampton on Grove Avenue, but time is running out. The Westhampton plans to screen the movie through this Thursday, May 3rd. As busy parents, our schedules are always packed and there’s never enough time in the week to get everything done. But, for those of us with school aged children, carving out time to see “Bully” may be one of the most valuable uses of our time imaginable in these important, formative years.
“Bully” isn’t a flashy production. It isn’t narrated by a famous actor and doesn’t have a giant advertising budget. It doesn’t need all that. The stories in this film are important enough that they speak for themselves. “Bully” follows children and their families through the course of a school year as they cope with constant, vicious torment at the hands of their peers. The victims in this film are typical children – they are brothers or sisters, hard-working students, sports fans – but they are also the targets of bullies because of some perceived ‘weakness’ or ‘difference’ that is completely out of their control. One child is small for his age because of a premature birth, one child has recently come out to her friends and peers. One child we don’t even get to meet on film because he has already taken his life in a desperate attempt to end his pain, leaving parents and siblings behind to wonder what the hell their loved one had ever done to deserve this.
“Bully” shines a spotlight on all the players involved in a childhood bullying scenario – which is crucial to helping us the viewers see where we’re letting our children down. Hard working, well meaning parents can be oblivious to their child’s ongoing torment. Even when asking the straight-forward question, “How was your bus ride today?” they don’t see that their child is not being forthcoming, shielding them from the painful and embarrassing truth. When school officials are confronted by upset parents about the chronic emotional and physical abuse their kids are enduring at school and on the bus, they quickly become defensive, claiming that when they rode that bus to investigate the kids were “as good as gold”.
“Bully” is eye-opening and tough to watch, and exactly what we need to be made aware of just how bad bullying has become in our communities. It’s also a testimony to what the grieving parents left behind can do and already have done in the wake of the loss of their child. They hold rallies, they spread the word, they share their child’s story over and over again until people get the message. Those parents deserve to have our attention, and our commitment that we will work to put an end to this growing problem.
“Parents play a vital role in supporting their kids, promoting upstander rather than bystander behavior, and teaching and modeling empathy in the home.” – Thebullyproject.com
But for all its painful, honest imagery, “Bully” also has a message of hope. There are children and families and teachers out there who want to stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. And when their eyes are opened, they rise to the challenge, helping us realize that we can do the same.
Take the time to go see “Bully” while it’s playing here in Richmond. Take your children to see it. It truly is a PG-13 level film appropriate for middle- and high-schoolers and some older elementary children as well. Let your children’s schools know that you’d like it to be shown to the students, teachers and administrators, and that there are viewing and discussion guides available at http://thebullyproject.com/.
And then join RichmondMom.com and Commonwealth Parenting for an Anti-bullying Town Hall discussion on May 17th at 7:00 pm at Canterbury Community Preschool. We’ll discuss the “Bully” film, and, more importantly, how bullying can be identified, terminated, and prevented in our schools.
Visit Thebullyproject.com for information on types of bullying, prevention, and how to get help right now if you or someone you know is being bullied.
