- More than anything I’d love to see all of my kids, including my baby girl, pictured here this summer–walk down the aisle. But just in case . . .
Maybe it’s because I’m about to turn thirty-nine (or as I call it, celebrate my First Annual Thirty-Ninth Birthday.)
Or maybe it’s because a beautiful girl, (inside and out) Carla Zandi, that grew up in my hometown just passed away in her forties from breast cancer, and I’m reminded of the frailty of life and the lack of our guarantee to survive into old age.
Either way, I was thinking about the (hopefully unlikely, far-off) event of my untimely death, I wouldn’t want anyone in my family to worry about how to plan the actual funeral event. Some would say Everyone knows, I’ve been known to be rather high-maintenance in life; it’s the least I can do to make it as easy as possible to say good-bye to my wordly presence. So here is my funeral plan in ten easy steps:
1) Cocktails for everyone upon arrival, open bar. Spirits for the spirit.
2) Lots and lots of photos: from my kids to my family to family trips. (If there are
This is an example of an “acceptable” photo. Me in swimsuit = “unacceptable”
any in my bathing suit, please look out for me ladies and stick those in your pocket. Not for public consumption.)
Epitaph? Sure, I’ll take it.
3) Many jokes & fun stories shared (if you haven’t heard the Carrot Joke, it’s a family fave.)
4) Penn State Flag (forever . . .)
5) My family as the focal point, they are my everything.
6) My big brother likely must speak, as he’s not only a strong writer and speaker but he could hold it together, he’s tough like that.
7) In lieu of flowers, random acts of kindness: forever. (even in death I am high maintenance.) these can be as small as a dollar to a homeless man or a major donation to a charity that touches someone. But if you do send flowers, sunflowers are my fave (they were in my wedding bouquets and to me, have always been a symbol of strength and beauty.)
8) Minimal sadness, after all my dad is waiting for me for sure 😉
9) Playlist:
-Dido, Thank You.
-Neil Diamond, Sweet Caroline (loves me some Neil Diamond. And my bro should sing Porcupine Pie-it’s a hoot.)
-Penn State Fight Song
-Florence + The Machine, Shake it Out (I reserve the right to amend and add to this list before said funeral)
One of my favorite visions: my little girl on the bow.
10) Finally, I’d love this amazing Van Dyke poem to be read, as it’s how I picture the exit from this world into Heaven (if I’m lucky enough to get there) and mirrors our love of life on the water:
“I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says;
“There, she is gone!”
“Gone where?”
Gone from my sight. That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight
I’d like to be remembered looking sultry, like this. (Even if I really don’t look like this most of the time.)
to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side says, “There, she is gone!”
There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout; “Here she comes!”
And that is dying.”
I personally think that that way you go out should resemble the way that you lived, and personally, I’d like a party, even if I can only be there in spirit.
