Look, Ma! You got an extra job to do tonight!
I’ve got a few skills, but playing the part of the Tooth Fairy ain’t one of ‘em.
Here’s my beef with the role this high-maintenance gal requires me to play:
1) The duties never fall in a time that is convenient for me (meaning the services needed are typically Monday-Friday in the heart of the workweek)
2) It requires constant reminders to execute the task. As in texting my husband to remember, then him texting me back to remind me to remind him. It also includes having cash on hand. And it’s late at night, when I’m usually drooling on the couch and no where near thinking of what I have to do other than brushing my teeth.
3) The actual task in and of itself is not really that easy. Take drooling kid, clutching pillow, gently remove tooth underneath said clutched pillow and remove to never be seen again, replace with monetary replacement suitable for child’s age. In my kids’ case, this almost always proves the most difficult part. I’m not gonna lie, at least half of their teeth have remained under the pillow along with their “reward.” {I’ve actually told them the Tooth Fairy flies so fast that she can’t possibly collect all of the teeth all around the world every single night. Don’t judge me.}
In the morning, the challenges with my shortcomings in #3 result in questions like “Why did the Tooth Fairy leave my tooth?” and ultimately “Oooh can I leave it again tonight and see if I get another treat?” To which I answer YEAH, NO, YOU LITTLE SCHEISTER.
This morning, my five year-old woke up tightly clutching her recently-gifted bill from said Fairy, hugged me and smiled a gigantic gapped-tooth smile at me. That damn Tooth Fairy, she somehow always manages to schlep her job off on me, and I fall for it every time.
