The morning of the 4th of July, we decided to kick it old school and spend some fun family time together outside in a sporting way. Enter me, with my shiny new Groupon in hand for putt putt golf. We started off trying to play by the “real” putt putt rules. You know, take turns, stay out of the other player’s way, hit the ball with the club, blah blah blah. Pretty quickly, our son and daughter (3 and 5 years old) were schooling us in the real rules of putt putt, which I felt compelled to share with my parenting brethren for your benefit. In no particular order:
Fierce stances are very important in putt putt.
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The color of the ball is of utmost importance. You MUST HAVE your favorite color!
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You must resist all attempts by any people (your parents, your sister, the nice lady who owns the putt putt place) to help you hit the ball.
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The best way to hold the club is the way that is awkward, somewhat painful, and most likely to result in hitting yourself or somebody else NO MATTER WHAT.
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“Don’t stand on the green part” actually means “Stand only on the green part.”
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“Get out of the way” means “Stand directly where the club will hit you in the head.”
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You must repeatedly play the hole where the ball goes in the river, until your parents make you stop and your heart breaks in two.
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Getting bit by a horsefly is a perfectly legit reason to pout and refuse to play any more, even if it’s at the 8th hole and you have 10 more to go.
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Pushing the ball with the club in a shovel-like motion totally counts as a long, continuous turn.
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Picking up the ball and putting it right by the hole, then hitting it in is pure genius and totally counts.
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At the end, nobody should have the same ball they started with. If you have TWO, you get a bonus.
Demonstration of the very effective “shoveling” motion.
The real rule is – Don’t try to play by the rules with a 3 year old and a 5 year old! And let the little ones lead. Literally. Let them go a hole ahead of you and do their thing, while the adult rule-sticklers can play some serious putt putt!
We all agreed that the best parts of the game were the sweltering heat, the disintegrating participation rate, and all the attempts to play by some sort of “rules.” NOT. The best part was totally the *free* prizes. My son got a monster truck, and my daughter got a fake birthstone ring. SCORE!
About Mary Beth Cox