By Rosemary Burns
Ahhh, September.
The time of year when a much welcomed hush falls over our home and peace reigns supreme-at least between the hours of 7:50 AM and 3:55 PM, otherwise known as ‘the school day’. This year, I have a child in third grade and another in ninth grade. Two very different ages, and two very different homework requirements. Homework each night can be a challenge, this is especially true in relation to children’s different learning styles.
This was no more evident than when my two older kids, who are now twenty-seven and twenty-five were in school. My son was finally diagnosed in third grade as having ADD and OCD, and was now able to receive in-school services to help him learn. My daughter was and still is a highly self-motivated, over achiever, bordering on perfectionist student. Strangely enough, both are extremely hard on themselves…They would drive each other crazy, as well as myself, trying to accept and understand each others learning differences and approaches to homework. Made for a lot of volatile afternoon and evenings.
My son would take literally three hours routinely each night to accomplish his homework with me sitting by his side. My daughter would whip through her homework, often times having completed it in school only to lament that I didn’t have any time for her because her brother was monopolizing me.
So, here is what I’ve learned: Kids have different learning styles. And as a parent, I want my kid to suceed in school, because it has a direct effect on their choices for colleges, which has a direct effect on their developing and flourishing in their chosen career, which has a direct effect on their ability to make a good living, which has a direct effect on their being able to travel, buy a car, buy a house, find a mate, and give me some grandbabies…but, I digress. :)
It is my job as a parent to work with the teachers and discover how best my child learns. Sometimes that may require ‘fighting for an IEP’ to get services that schools are required by law to make available for your child. Sometimes it requires seeking professional help in the form of counselors, tutors or therapists. But as a parent ya gotta do it whatever it takes to give your child the tools to be happy and successful.
It is also my job as a parent to offer a safe and sane home life to all of my kids in which to thrive. Not always easy when kids have such different learning styles. Most kids, when returning home from a school day are ready to and need to decompress. Try to remember spending 6 1/2 hours sitting at a school desk attempting to remain still and quiet, paying attention, using good manners, maybe putting up with a bully, learning reading, writing and arithmetic. Then, riding home on a noisy, stuffy school bus or walking in all kinds of weather-my point is most kids need at least a little down time before starting homework.
At present, I try to get my very bright third grader right to work on his homework after eating a quick after school snack. I’ve found that he is on most days, still calm and in ‘school-mode’ so that we can get a good start on his homework before we have to go pick up his older sister from her school. I say on most days because frankly, everyone has days when they just need to be physical for awhile after putting in a day at school before starting on homework. For this reason he can shoot baskets out front, or ride his bike a bit on good days before homework. On bad weather days, I allow him to ‘do the circle’ in our house through the living room, dining room, and kitchen. He can chase the dog, ride his scooter, dribble a soccer ball, whatever it takes to blow off steam in a controlled setting.
My High School Freshman, on the other hand comes home from school makes a snack, checks her E-mail and Facebook accounts then gets on Pinterest for awhile before tackling her homework. Then, she either works out or Skypes her sister who is living abroad, eats dinner and watches NetFlix. They approach their homework differently, but they both “git er dun.” :)
Basically, there are kids who are VISUAL LEARNERS. They learn best when they SEE a picture in their minds. As a parent, you can write and post their spelling words on 3x5cards on their bedroom walls. You can hang up a map of the United States and highlight all the Capitals. You can also use flash cards for studying.
AUDITORY LEARNERS learn mainly through their ears. They may be able to tell the answer without being able to write it down. A parent could make up poems and songs or other memory cues repeating them aloud, remember IN 1492 COLUMBUS SAILED THE OCEAN BLUE…Repeat the spelling words aloud and read textbooks aloud.
KINESTHETIC LEARNERS learn through their bodies, When they have to sit still their brains seem ‘to go to sleep.’ These learners need to move around while studying. Try reading while standing up or on an exercise bike. As a parent you can act out important lessons from history with your kid. Try using a finger to follow along in a book and focus the eyes while reading material.
- Teens and kids with ADHD actually tend to learn much better with music playing in the background.
- Some kids need a designated work space at home, some like to be comfy on a bed or sofa.
- Try breaking up the assignments ie., “do this spelling homework and then you can play for ten minutes.”
- Computer games actually can help a child learn a subject.
- Sometimes as a parent you might just have to admit that “no one really likes doing homework, but you will benefit from it.”
As a wise teacher once told me, “All kids may not be gifted. But they are all GIFTS!”
