Photo via flickr
It seems to happen every time.
A forecast for 10” of snow just so happens to coincide with the same time we ran out of our usual half gallon of milk.
Unfortunately, this facilitates a need for the grocery store, which is, quite possibly, the worst place anyone can be before it snows. I ran by the store after going out to dinner with some friends with the intention of grabbing a gallon of milk before heading home.
Here’s a little RVA PSA: There is no more milk. Anywhere. None. At least, not at my nearest grocery store.
Things that are also gone: toilet paper and beans. I don’t want to consider how the two are related.
At the counter I made conversation with the check out girl and she told me that one guy bought about 30 gallons of milk.
People. This is absurd.
Some guy is out there with 30 gallons of milk which we could only guess might have to do with this snow storm.
Milk expires. That means if you don’t use it, you lose it. What is it about snow that makes people need to consume an abnormal amount of milk?
Anyway… it got me thinking…. What is that guy doing with all that milk?
I did a little research, and here’s all the things you can do if you got a little delirious for dairy in the face of the snowpocalypse:
- Obviously, you can cook with it rice pudding, milk soup, and for dessert, milkshakes.
- You can freeze it. As it turns out, you can actually freeze milk. So maybe he was stocking up, not just for this storm but for storms to come.
- Remove ink stains with it… because Lord knows you won’t be making it out to the dry cleaner in this weather!
- Take a nightly milk bath in order to stay warm and relaxed and combat the classic “snowed in skin”.
- On a related note, you can get shiny hair or remove make up with it.
- But you’re not the only one who could benefit from a little milk bath. Keep yourself occupied on a snowy winters day by repairing cracked china.
- And while your at it there’s some silver that needs polishing.
- Finally, clean that old leather item that has been just lying around.
- Sell it on the black market… seriously, scalp the milk. Station yourself outside of the grocery store “hey, lady, I see you got kids. I gotta gallon of organic milk and it can be yours for $10.” I bet you, people would consider it. What, with the shortage and all.
So, I guess it’s dry cereal for the Cole house (there was soy milk but not even snowmageddon made people want to drink that). Unfortunately, this snow day, our silver will remain unpolished.
What’s the state of the grocery store where you live? What did you stock up on?
Psssst… looking for a place to go sledding?
Find out how to bring snow day fun indoors!
