Growing up, not writing thank-you notes would have been a sin. After all, that’s just what you DO. That’s what we were TAUGHT. You MUST write thank-you notes.
Even if you said thank-you in person.
Even if the gift cost less than the price of a thank-you note.
Even if your hand hurt from all the thank-you note writing from the last time you wrote thank-you notes.
Do it. The end.
Now that I’m a mom, I have adopted the same stance: We must write thank-you notes. But….It’s getting harder and harder to do.
Can you relate?
Not only do I have to write thank-you notes for myself, but I have to stay on top of thank-you notes for the kids. There seems to be more gift-giving than when I was a kid, resulting in more stuff for which to write thank-you notes.
Writing notes to express that gratitude takes time and organization. You have to have the cards and the addresses. You have to find a pen and get pre-schoolers to sit still with you and write.
Plus, writing and delivering thank-you notes in the age of electronic invitations is challenging. Sometimes if the gift-giver is a classmate, we don’t have their address. Does an e-thankyou count? Does a Facebook thank-you count?
See all those excuses up there? They add up! For most people, I think they add up to “We just won’t do this any more.”
Evidence in point: I would estimate that of all the gifts we’ve given to our kids’ friends at birthday parties, we have maybe gotten two or three thank-you notes back. If they at least say thank-you in person, I can jive with that. I kind of love the long-distance picture of my friend smiling with the gift I gave them, shared in a thank-you message on Facebook. But if they never say a word, I admit: I get a little annoyed. But I suppress it. I have to, if I’m going to keep a positive outlook on life (and keep our friends!).
Which brings me back to my current question: Do we do thank-you notes for my daughter’s birthday gifts, or not?
Well….
Despite all of the excuses NOT to do it,
Despite the fact that her birthday was over 2 weeks ago,
Despite the fact that she said thank-yous in person to gift-givers,
Despite the fact that opting out seems more common these days,
I conclude that….YES. We will do thank-you notes.
I still think it’s the right thing to do. I think it’s important to make children express appreciation and gratitude. After all having attitude is gratitude is part of an equation of a happy, healthy life. I want to make sure it’s part of our kids’ lives too. So I will force my 6-year-old this weekend to sit down with me and do her best to write thank-yous (although some of them may be e-thankyous), and I will do my best to get them to the people we thank, and I will do it despite all the excuses.
The end.
About Mary Beth Cox