“A boy is the only thing that we can use to make a man”. – Unknown
As we head towards December I decided I wouldn’t write a rant about the Christmas elf; mainly because I don’t care about the Christmas elf one way or the other. I won’t talk about how much we spend on Christmas presents; I won’t talk about Christmas peace and tranquility; I won’t talk about avoiding stress for the holidays.
I will talk about boys.
If I hear one more parent say, “Boys will be boys.” I might scream and ruin Christmas for all of us.
Let’s be honest, when people say, “Boys will be boys,” it is usually an excuse for inattentive behavior, for insensitivity to those around them, for physical shenanigans, for not following the rules.
It’s baloney.
You don’t have to tell me that boys are different. I grew up with three older brothers, I’ve had two husbands and have given birth to two boys.
I know boys.
I get that boys can be different from girls.
It doesn’t mean they can’t be sensitive or sit still. It doesn’t mean they have to roughhouse as a way of forming friendships. It doesn’t mean they have to use wrestling moves instead of words. It doesn’t mean they can’t behave or be kind.
By saying “Boys will be boys.” you are giving up on your boys.
You are saying it’s too hard.
You are saying it’s acceptable of your sons but not your daughters.
I expect better out of my boys; they aren’t perfect and they won’t always do the right thing but at the very least I won’t laugh it off or accept it from the sidelines.
Boys will be much more than just boys if you just show them how; if you just expect more from them.
You fail to do that and you fail them.
If our boys are the only thing we’ve got to make men then let’s make some good ones.
It might be the most important gift you give this Christmas season.
About Rebecca Suder