Photo via Todd Huffman, Flickr Creative Commons
It always strikes me when somebody writes, says, thinks or clearly implies that some children (usually their own) are more special than other children.
They think some children deserve special treatment, special inclusion or exclusion, or special consideration.
It stirs something in me from when I was little, growing up with my brother who is disabled. I’m told that people would look at him strange or say things, and I would defend him even at a very young age. But it also frustrated me to see him get affection from adults that was not bestowed upon me. Some adults seemed to see me as having the more special attributes, and some saw him as more special.
I have always thought we were equally special.
It also stirs something in me that is driven by the values of justice, equality and empathy.
I feel like stories pop up about this all the time. For example, stories of parents who engage in bullying behavior against other children on behalf of their own child, or try to get a teacher to change a grade for their own child when others don’t have the same opportunity.
But this week, it’s cropping up again in stories about the measles outbreak.
Here is a quote from a doctor in the headlines this week:
The overwhelming sentiment from the medical community is that the measles vaccine is safe and effective. But Arizona cardiologist Dr. Jack Wolfson is a rare voice of dissent.
“It’s a very unfortunate thing that people die, but unfortunately people die,” Wolfson said. “And I’m not going to put my child at risk to save another child.”
Boiled down: He thinks taking a very small nonfatal risk in vaccinating his child is not worth potentially saving the life of somebody else’s child, even if hundreds of thousands of people have done it for the greater good. He thinks his children deserve special exclusion.
For some families (who have no medical reason to not vaccinate), the fact that vaccinating their own children will protect other peoples’ children (and consequently their own children) is not a motivating factor. Why is that?
I’m reminded of the Albert Einstein quote:
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
I feel that way about children. There are only two ways to live your life. One as if no children are special. The other is though all children are special.
I choose to see all children as special, and try to act accordingly.
I reject the idea that some children deserve special treatment and others do not.
You can’t see one child as worthy of love, affection and protection and another as not.
You can’t see one child as worthy of investment and another as not.
You can’t raise up one child who has visible gifts or talents, and ignore another child whose gifts and talents may not be as visible.
Yes, you will likely love your own children more. Yes of course, you will not put them in harm’s way unnecessarily. But enduring a little inconvenience or discomfort so that all children (and society) may benefit? Yes, please. Not approaching life decisions this way sets up a “I’m just out for me and my family” versus a “We’re all in this together for the greater good” mentality.
When the chips are down, or an epidemic is raging, or we’re electing people to public office, or a family is in crisis and needs support… which camp would you rather be in?
Yes your child is special. But mine is too. And all the children alive today everywhere. And we should all act in the best interest of protecting and promoting the health and well being of all children.
Because all children are special.
About Mary Beth Cox