Maybe we pass a dollar to someone through our driver’s side window. Maybe we cast our votes for candidates promising to improve life those at risk. Maybe we donate to local charities, service groups and places of worship, hoping funds collected will make a difference. Maybe none of it feels like enough…and we wish someone would step in and actually do something.

March’s RichmondMom with a Mission is doing something. Meet Wendy McCaig of Embrace Richmond.

RichmondMom Cheryl
How would you describe what is you do with Embrace Richmond?

EmbraceRichmond’s Wendy
I’m the founder and Executive Director of Embrace Richmond. Embrace is a faith-based collective that strengthens communities from the inside out—by training, coaching, and connecting neighborhood and congregational leaders in asset-based community development (ABCD).

Asset-Based Community Development is a large and growing movement that considers local assets as the primary building blocks of sustainable community development. We believe neighborhood residents themselves are the primary building blocks for a healthy neighborhood. We believe people of faith can play an important role in strengthening neighborhoods by supporting neighborhood leaders.

Half my time [is spent] coaching and training congregational leaders in how to implement asset-based community development principals in their mission’s efforts. The other half of my time is spent coaching and training neighborhood leaders from across metro-Richmond in how bring their community building ideas to life.

What was the catalyst that made you decide YOU personally needed to take action?

In 2004, I met a homeless woman who had the dream of helping other homeless individuals because so many people had helped her. I loved her pay-it-forward attitude.  I helped her bring her dream to life, and watched the amazing transformation that took place in her.

At the time, I was in seminary at Baptist Theological Seminary at Richmond and knew helping people discover and live their calling was what God had called me to do. What started out as my homeless friend’s desire to help other homeless families, grew into the largest furniture bank on the eastern seaboard. In 2008, we transferred the furniture bank part of our ministry off to CARITAS.

Please tell us a bit about how you got started…

During the years that I ran the furniture bank, I saw a number of families returning to homelessness. I realized we could not have a significant impact by simply handing out furniture. So in 2008, we began to focus on community development.

I knew that the best way to strengthen a community was from the inside out. I had a few friends through my furniture bank program who had moved into Hillside Court. Over the next five years, we began identifying neighbors who cared about their community and began gathering neighbors together to discuss the issues that were of concern to them.

The biggest concern was for the safety of the children. A lovely resident named Patrice Shelton stepped up to take the lead on what became the Family Support Team. I watched Patrice over the next three years as she identified leaders, build additional teams, nurtured and cared for the residents of Hillside Court.

By 2013, it was obvious that Patrice had built a wonderful team of resident leaders and our role shifted from being the lead agency to simply supporting Patrice and her team. We formed the Hillside Court Partnership to carry the work forward.

What is the goal of the organizations with whom you work?

Our goal is to strengthen communities from the inside out. We measure success by the number of resident leaders who are engaged in community building activities and by the level of civic engagement from within the community. We believe neighborhoods are healthiest when neighbors are engaged.

What do you feel has been accomplished so far?

We were founded in 2005, and over the past ten years we have helped neighborhood leaders establish more than 40 neighborhood-led initiatives including food security projects, family strengthening groups and youth development projects. We have also started and/or helped to strengthen the following organizations and associations:

• Working in partnership with formerly homeless individuals, Embrace started the Furniture Bank. In 2008, we spun the operation off to CARITAS, the largest homeless services provider in Richmond, with the express requirement that homeless and formerly homeless individuals would continue to operate the program.
• We started The Hillside Court Partnership (HCP) and transferred ownership to the local Hillside residents in 2013. HCP now supports nine resident-led initiatives.
• We helped Northminster Church start the Life Together Collaborative which supported the growth and development of three resident led initiatives.
• We helped strengthen the Brookland Park Area Association with the goal of working together toward economic revitalization of the Brookland Park Commercial corridor.
• In 2014 we established the Embrace ABCD Training Institute and over the past year we have coached and trained more than 100 faith leaders in the Richmond area in asset-based community development.
• We are also currently building a new association to support the resident-led initiatives that are emerging in our work in the Historic Brookland Park community.

What makes you proudest personally about your affiliation with the group?

Walking with people who have historically been seen as “recipients of services” as they take ownership of their community and bring their dreams for their neighborhood to life. Every neighborhood in this city is rich with gifts, talents and dreams. I love helping people discover the richness of their community.

One of my proudest movements was when I published my first book in 2010 called From the Sanctuary to the Streets. The book is the story of my journey from suburban soccer mom to inner city minister. In the book, I interview more than 20 individuals—many of whom were formerly homeless. It was an incredibly interesting and personally rewarding writing opportunity.

What’s next on-deck?

As our congregational training has grown over the past year, our opportunities to coach congregational leaders is also growing. This coming year we will be working with leaders in 2-3 additional neighborhoods. My dream is that by 2020 we are coaching neighborhood and congregational leaders in 20 neighborhoods across the metro region.

I am also working on my second book titled Remembering Forgotten. The goal of this book is to paint a picture of what inside out community transformation looks like and provide people with the tools they need to do this kind of work in their own communities.

How can others get involved?

The best place to start is with our SHIFT training. Through the training, participants gain an understanding of how asset-based community development is different than traditional relief approaches to poverty.

We are also currently raising funds for our Dream Catcher Project. This is a summer internship project for youth from low-income communities. These young people will play a key role in helping map the assets of their community by conducting interviews of local residents. We would like to launch 8 teams this summer and need to raise $1,250 per team.

If individuals are interested in learning more about Embrace Richmond, our upcoming training events, or how to donate they can visit our website at www.embracerichmond.org.

Please like us on Facebook and if readers would like to learn more about ABCD, I blog at www.wendymccaig.com about our work in the city.

How does your family feel about what you are doing?

My family is wonderful. My husband has been my biggest champion. There have been many times when I wanted to give up but he always encouraged me to keep going. He is the rock that has remained unshakable in spite of some really challenging times.

I have three daughters ages 21, 19 and 16. When they were young, I was concerned that all the hours I spent serving in the city would somehow make them resentful of my work. Now that they are older and can understand the impact we have had through Embrace Richmond, I can see how significantly it has shaped them.

My oldest is interested in public health, my middle daughter has a heart for helping people learn to love to read and my youngest is interested in politics and wants to change some of our more unjust systems. They are all incredibly compassionate and deeply caring young ladies.

I once had a Bible study leader who said, “If you are taking care of God’s family, God will take care of yours.” I have been blessed to see the truth in that statement.

Please feel free to share additional info you’d like to share with the RichmondMom readership.

All I can say is “Live your Dreams!”

You can find Embrace Richmond on the web and on Facebook.

Wendy, thank you so much for your commitment to strengthening Richmond’s communities…and for being a RichmondMom with a mission!

Cookies are baked and waiting to be put in their tins. Stockings are hung from the mantel. Poinsettias are perfectly placed. Tips for the mail carrier, the newspaper delivery person, and the hair stylist are all in envelopes. Rolls of gift wrap are standing by…waiting to be put to their merry, masking use. The last batch of Christmas cards has found its way to the blue box on the corner.

These dwindling days are those wherein we rack our holiday-addled brains—attempting to determine what seasonal celebratory aspect we’ve possibly overlooked…

Time to take a few moments—and maybe a bit of budget—to make this week more wondrous for children in our own community.

Meet this month’s RichmondMom with a Mission: Maya Smart, 2014 Richmond Christmas Mother.

[Photos Courtesy of Richmond Christmas Mother Fund]

RichmondMom Cheryl:
Happy Holidays, Ms. Smart, and thank you so very much for taking the time to chat with us! For those like me who are “transplants,” or for those who simply don’t know much about the incredible, charitable work that’s done via the Richmond Christmas Mother tradition, would you please tell us a little bit about the history?

Richmond Christmas Mother Maya:
The Richmond Christmas Mother Fund is celebrating 80 years of providing much-needed assistance to local families. For the last several years, the fund exclusively supported the Salvation Army’s Christmas Assistance program, which provides holiday meals, clothing and toys. This year, in honor of the 80^th anniversary of the fund, we partnered with The Community Foundation to launch a competitive grant process with a goal of distributing funds to 80 different community organizations. I’m really proud to be the spokesperson for the fund in a year in which it is embracing a broad cross-section of our community’s nonprofits.

Please tell us a bit about what you do (and have already done!) as Richmond’s 2014 Christmas Mother.

As the 80^th Richmond Christmas Mother, I have made more than 30 appearances to raise funds and awareness for the organization. I’ve touted the programs of our wonderful grantees on numerous television channels and radio stations and at Christmas events at The Jefferson and The Valentine. I’ve also attended the holiday gatherings of supporters such as McGuire Woods, the Richmond Henrico Retired Teachers Association, and the Junior Assembly, and Town and Country cotillions.

VCU Athletics graciously hosted a Richmond Christmas Mother Night at a VCU Basketball game, which included digital signage, concourse collection boxes and an on-court presentation. We raised nearly $20,000 that evening, which my husband Shaka and I matched to bring the game total to almost $40,000.

I have also had the honor of seeing our Richmond Christmas Mother Fund dollars in action at grantee events, such as holiday parties hosted by the ASK Childhood Cancer Foundation and the USO.

What were–and are–the goals for 2014?

For 2014, we hope to raise $275,000. As of Dec. 22, we’ve raised about $213,000 so we would still greatly appreciate donations. Interested supporters can visit tinyurl.com/xmasrva to contribute.

Beyond the financial goals, I also aimed to promote the work of our amazing grantees. For example, the fund helped the USO lift the spirits of active duty military and families with hot meals and small gifts as they passed through Richmond International Airport during the holidays.  We lightened the burden of holiday meals and gift-giving for families saddled with sick children’s health-care expenses through grantees such as ASK Childhood Cancer Foundation, CJ’s Thumbs Up Foundation and Connor’s Heroes.  Our grant to Communities in Schools funded pantry staples for kids who typically rely on school meals, so they wouldn’t go hungry over winter break. 

Our Meals on Wheels grant will help deliver homemade holiday meals for hundreds of homebound seniors and disabled adults. Other grants ensured that families in need could get emergency assistance during the holidays, along with warm coats, hats and gloves. 

How is Richmond responding to the call to action?

Richmond has been extraordinarily generous. Everyone from elementary schoolers to grandparents have supported the effort with donations ranging from $1 to $10,000. All amounts are accepted–and greatly appreciated. 

What makes you proudest personally about your role? Any particularly touching moments?

Personally, I am most proud of the number and diversity of new donors supporting the campaign this year. It means a great deal to me that I’ve introduced many Richmonders to the fund and won their support for these great organizations.

Seeing the grant dollars in action at the ASK Holiday Party at the Children’s Museum was very touching. I took my daughter Zora with me so that she could see what all of my Christmas Mother activities were about—bringing support and holiday cheer to our community.  ASK helps local children with cancer and their families year-round with social, emotional, spiritual and even financial support.  And it was clear at the party that the organization plays a special role during the holidays by bringing 400 people together for an evening with Legendary Santa, crafts, clowns and dessert. Parents joked that the ASK event was like a reunion of the family you never wanted to be a part of, but treasure now that you’ve got it.  Children happily reunited with friends from the pediatric hematology and oncology clinic at VCU Medical Center and played with abandon—no need to explain baldheads or facemasks here. In this safe space, they were free to just be kids, albeit extraordinarily courageous, resilient ones.

I’m inspired by the children I met and I’m honored to raise funds on their behalf.

Please tell us how we can help!

Donate at tinyurl.com/xmasrva and spread the word via social media!

How does your family feel about what you are doing?

Shaka is extremely supportive of my work for our neighbors in need this holiday season, from the matching gift challenge at a game to picking up the slack at home when I am busy Christmas Mothering.

And this will be a Christmas to remember for Zora as well. She brings up the Christmas Parade daily.

Please feel free to share additional info you’d like to share with the RichmondMom readership!

I’ve also used my Christmas Mother tenure to promote reading and diversity in children’s literature. So far this season, I’ve given out 900 books to children at various events and I hope others will be inspired to add books to their holiday gift picks as well.

Maya, we thank you so much for your extraordinary service as this year’s Christmas Mother…and for being such an inspirational RichmondMom with a mission.

Wishing you and yours the happiest of holidays!

[Note to RichmondMom blog fans: Be sure to add Maya’s blog to your regular reads!]

“The beginning is the most important part of the work.”
—Plato

How best to ensure the life-changing transition to motherhood is a happy and healthy one for new parents-to-be?

Meet this month’s RichmondMom committed to that very mission, Leslie Lytle of NurtureRVA!

[Photo: Beth Furgurson]

RichmondMom Cheryl:
What is your official title/role within Nurture?

Nurture’s Leslie:
I am the founder and Executive Director of Nurture, an emerging nonprofit whose mission is to improve the health and wellbeing of childbearing families through fitness, education, social support, and community engagement.

What were the catalysts that made you decide YOU personally needed to take action?

As a long-time prenatal yoga instructor, doula, and childbirth educator, it was hearing my students’ struggles to find accurate information, resources, and support that inspired me to consider a central resource center focused on childbearing women and families. I was also deeply influenced by observing the connections my students were making in class – there is a horizontal learning that takes place when you bring together individuals who are going through a similar life journey and encourage them to explore their common experience. Science indicates that when we have meaningful social connections, easy access to resources, and the ability to make informed decisions about our health and wellbeing, we have better health outcomes. This is particularly important during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum because the health of mothers and babies are intimately interconnected. What happens during this period has significant and impact on the short and long term health of both. As our bodies and brains are re-tooled physically, emotionally, and socially for parenthood, we have an incredible opportunity to consciously shape our habits and relationships in a positive direction.

Childbearing families face many challenges. Our national Cesarean rate, at 32.8%, is significantly higher than the 10 – 15% recommended by the World Health Organization, which is the point at which harms begin to outweigh benefits. Between 10 and 20% of new mothers will show signs of postpartum mood disorders. In the Richmond Metro Area, that means as many as 2400 of the 12,000 women who give birth each year—yet locally we have very few therapists trained in reproductive mental health, and it is not easy to identify those who are. Breastfeeding is one of the effective preventive measures a woman can take to protect the health of baby and herself, yet many women face significant cultural and logistical obstacles that prevent them from reaching their breastfeeding goals. While 75% of mothers initiate breastfeeding at birth, only 13% of babies are exclusively breastfed by six months. These statistics are significantly lower for our African American population.

The challenges faced by childbearing families are more similar than they are different, though different cultural groups and income levels will have specific needs. I wanted to level the playing field, so that all families have access to resources they need to have the best possible start.

Please tell us a bit about what you do with Nurture.

Right now, as Executive Director of an emerging nonprofit with a small annual budget, I do a lot of juggling – alternately managing outreach, program development, marketing, team-building, and administrative tasks. It’s akin to being the mother of a very active two-year old! I am currently focused on recruiting exceptional volunteer talent on our committees and board to help guide Nurture toward becoming a nationally known organization for improving the health and wellbeing of childbearing families at the local level.

What is the goal of the organization?

Our mission is to improve the health and wellbeing through fitness, education, social support, and community engagement – what we refer to as our four pillars (here’s a brief video that outlines our vision). We chose these pillars carefully. Women who exercise regularly throughout pregnancy gain less weight, experience shorter labors, require fewer medical interventions, have easier postpartum recoveries, and a more positive self-image. Evidence-based education supports women’s capacity to make informed decisions about their maternity related care. Social support programming such as breastfeeding and specifically focused prenatal and postpartum support groups are also integral to our vision. Under our community engagement pillar, we hope to inspire positive change through professional development programming and public education campaigns that raise awareness of the importance of community support for breastfeeding, evidence-based care, and reproductive mental health.

What has been accomplished so far?

On a completely volunteer basis, we have held two professional development programs that received rave reviews from participants – our first focused on perinatal loss, and the second on the impact of childbirth trauma on women and care providers. This year we offered over 90 donation-based prenatal and postnatal yoga classes through a partnership with Project Yoga Richmond. And we have provided technical and social media support to Richmond Healthy Start’s initiatives to raise awareness of the importance of breastfeeding: the Big Latch On in 2013, and RVA Latches On! in 2014.

What makes you proudest personally about your affiliation with the group?

It is thrilling to work with people who are passionate about improving the local environment for pregnancy, birth, and early parenting. I love the dialogue that takes place within our board and committees, the conversations with people whose lives have been positively influenced as a result of participating in our programs, and the discussion of potential future collaborations with other maternal/child health organization that are beginning to happen. Even as young as we are as an organization, I feel we’re already having a ripple effect.

What’s next on-deck?

Our biggest goal is to find a home for Nurture and a haven for the families we serve. We need a minimum of $100,000 to be able to consider a 2000 – 2500 square foot space in the city to serve as our central location. With a space of our own, we can grow our programming from ninety to hundreds of classes per year, including not just prenatal yoga, but childbirth education classes, postpartum support groups, breastfeeding assistance and more. Raising the funds to create this space is top on our agenda. This year we’re also working to create a “virtual” center on our website – a one-stop portal for finding existing resources in the community.

How can others get involved?

Visit our website and click on the “Help Us Grow” link, and send us a message as to your expertise, interest, and how you’d like to be involved. There is a list on that page of our current volunteer priorities.

And we always welcome donations, which are tax-deductible.

How does your family feel about what you are doing?

My husband is my biggest supporter and constantly tells me how proud he is of the work I’m doing. I could not what I do without his support, as it has required time away from income producing activities. My eighteen year-old son, whose birth in many ways was the catalyst for my focus on maternal/child health – thinks I’m doing “really important work.”

[Photo: Beth Furgurson]

Please feel free to share additional info you’d like to share with the RichmondMom readership!

I believe Richmond, with its cultural history and diversity, size, artistic talent, vibrant nonprofit community, and especially its cadre of socially engaged and extremely talented moms, is uniquely positioned to put itself on the map as a mother-and-baby-friendly city that truly supports the health of its newest families. Our children are precious. What a legacy we would leave if we work to transcend race and cultural divisions to help them get off to the best possible start.

You can find NurtureRVA…

On Facebook

On Twitter @NurtureRVA

On Instagram

Leslie, thank you so much for your commitment to nurturing Richmond’s newest families…and for being a RichmondMom with a mission!

Meet this month’s RichmondMom with a Mission: Patience Salgado, a.k.a. Kindness Girl!

RichmondMom Cheryl:
Tell us about how you became Kindness Girl.

Kindness Girl Patience
Whew, that is a long story because I have been [Kindness Girl] my whole life. I guess the very short version is I wrote a private blog about my family and our kindness adventures that grew a following and turned me into a kindness worker.

What was the catalyst that made you decide YOU personally needed to take action?

I’m not sure there was a catalyst per se, it was just a way to breathe actually. I was really sensitive and felt ALL the feelings, ALL the time, for the world…still do! I love humanity so very much and that can be exhausting if you don’t know yourself or how to manage your love.

Kindness is a way of life that allows people to both step in and outside of themselves at the same time. I could see the power of it everywhere I went. Turning that over and trying to see from all different angles gave me something to do with all I was holding. It also taught me how much I need it myself.

Please tell us a bit about what you do as Kindness Girl…

Hmmm, I do a little bit of everything. I am an empath, a writer, a photographer, an artist, a speaker, a mom and partner…but mostly it is about human connection.

What has been accomplished so far?

Oh, wow, lots of kindness missions, community organizing, national kindness campaigns and public art projects, but also lots of evolving and growing personally.

What makes you proudest personally about your achievements?

I don’t really like to look at my work as steps of achievements or accomplishments, I get all up in my “is it enough?!” head. It feels more about the process and ways I am unfolding as a person.

Kindness has me, like a call over my life. Some days I wake up and rock it so hard, other days I fail it miserably, but the call is always there. This is strangely comforting to me because I will fail my call but it is so much bigger than me. I try to remind myself of this on the days I am obsessing over my own part or comparing and feeling so very vulnerable.

I am proud of my courage to keep trying to love my humanity (and others’), and to find all the ways it connects us to each other.

What’s next on-deck?

There are quite a few things floating around about women and public art, writing a book and storytelling in the works, but mostly I am taking care of myself and my family at the moment.

We are in a non-auto pilot phase in our family right now. Have you ever been in that phase? A needy time? Everyone is in some kind of transition or learning curve and it feels like we all really need each other. I both love and am mildly tortured by this at any given moment, but it feels very right.

How can others get involved?

Start yourself! The beauty of kindness is anyone can practice anywhere, anytime. Just try to think of the most human place or part of you, then do something. If you need to hear things will be okay, then write it on a post-it and put it in a place where you think no kindness exists, because then it will.

Need a cup of coffee? Buy one for yourself and someone else. Need to say you’re sorry for yelling at your kid because you are exhausted? Do that, drive to school, pull her out of class and tell her. (By the way, I have done this. Ugh.)

Kindness can be big or small. It isn’t about being good or nice. While nice is societal or polite, kindness is about empathy and compassion; it makes us truly connected and part of a human family.

How does your family feel about what you are doing?

One of my biggest fears is that my kids will grow up and be like, “Kindness ruined my life! My mom was obsessed with this thing and never had time for us!”

They laugh when I tell them this but there have been crazy periods where all they ate was pizza and watched 57,000 hours of TV so I could pull a project off. I was grouchy and stressed.

On second thought, they probably LOVE kindness (minus the kindness grouch). Ha!

Seriously though, I don’t think they really think about it so much actually. It’s more of a way of life over here. Some kids have teachers, doctors or toll collectors for parents, they have a mom who is a kindness worker. I’m not sure they have connected that it is alternative or different in any way yet.

My partner and husband, Jorge, has been a calm and loving force in my life and work. He can handle me and my passion. He is patient, kind and believes in it. I am so grateful.

Please feel free to share additional info you’d like to share with the RichmondMom readership!

If you think we should be friends, we probably should be! You can find me on

Facebook: Patience Salgado

Twitter: @kindnessgirl

Instagram: @kindnessgirl

Patience, thank you so much for your commitment to both expressing and inspiring kindness…and for being a RichmondMom with a mission!

Each month, we are introducing you to a new maternal mover and shaker—an inspiring, make-a-difference mom right here in our own community.

A little over a year ago, my tween daughter and I happened upon a human trafficking awareness poster. Paraphrased somewhat, the statement “We need to end slavery in Virginia”  boldly headlined the piece. Incredulous, she erupted, “There’s no slavery anymore!”

Bet there are many Americans, Virginians, Richmonders who believe the very same thing…

Thankfully, a word-spreading, compassionate woman right here in Richmond is working diligently—to not only increase awareness of the reality of 21st century slavery—but to healing and making the lives of those directly affected, better.

Meet this month’s RichmondMom with a Mission: Andrea Valencia-Bailey of The Gray Haven Project.

RichmondMom Cheryl:
Andrea, what is your official title/role within The Gray Haven Project?

Gray Haven Andrea:
I am the Co-founder of The Gray Haven;  I have also worn many hats at Gray Haven, and because of our growth in the past year, we are evaluating what that will look like in the coming years, which is really exciting! Currently, my title is Director of Client Services, and I dedicate my time to working alongside our direct services staff, ensuring that they have what they need to succeed, and to ensure our clients receive the best care possible.

What was the catalyst that made you decide YOU personally needed to take action?

In my late teens and early twenties, I thought I would like to one day open a safe place/home for women and children victims of violence. Then I met my Josh and he told me about contemporary slavery and human trafficking—how he had learned about it through social media, and the fact that it was happening in a far away countries. After he shared this with me we shared the passion of one day moving across the world to help in any way we could; the idea of moving kept getting farther away from the reality of life. However the issue itself always stuck with us, to the point that we could not look away. A year after Josh and I got married, we heard a speaker talk about being afraid and thinking “What is it that I am supposed to do?” He challenged the audience to ask ourselves “What do I want my life’s story to tell?” He went on using human trafficking as an example saying something along the lines of, “Fighting an issue like human trafficking is not something we need to ask if God cares about. He is waiting for people like us stand up to do something about it.” Those words meant so much to my husband and me at that time, because we were at that pivotal time of deciding what to do with the knowledge we had acquired on the issue and we were contemplating how could we be part of a global movement to fight it. It was at this same time that we started to learn more and more about the issue happening right here in our own community.

Please tell us a bit about what you do with Gray Haven.

Currently I provide guidance and leadership to the team that provides direct care and support to survivors to assure the best care possible.  However, before we had staff, I wore many hats, from training and recruiting volunteers, to providing services to survivors, to manning the table at an outreach event.

Volunteers at Gray Haven booth, Arts on the Grove 2013

What is the goal of the organization?

The Gray Haven’s goal is to provide hope and restoration to victims of Human Trafficking (men, women, children victims of either sex or labor trafficking). Our goal for our clients is to empower [them] to reclaim their individual freedom to dream, and to help them find healing in a community of safe people. Understanding the barriers and root causes of human trafficking equips us with knowledge to inform our community, local, and state government on how we can actually end human trafficking in Richmond. So, through direct services to victims, we want to see victims living free and empowered, and our community actively engaged in making Richmond slavery-proof once and for all!

What has been accomplished so far?

Well, we are a fairly new organization. We are driven by small and big accomplishments in the lives of the people we serve instead of the numbers. However, when Josh and I started TGH, we always told ourselves that creating TGH was about treating each survivor like they were the only one we serve. It was about the one person, not just numbers. Now, after two and a half years, we have been able to make it “about the one” with over 70 people. We established a non-residential facility as a “one stop” for resources in the community, providing coaching to help victims/survivors achieve their goals, and walk a journey with them without the fear of anyone giving up on them. Then, in April, we opened the first safe house specifically for survivors of trafficking in Virginia. That was a huge realization of a dream for us.

What makes you proudest personally about your affiliation with the group?

The culture within TGH and what we can accomplish with the people we serve. At TGH we carry a culture where we focus on the hope that we can shine in the darkness of the issue. We find ways to make the restoration process for the people we serve as light as possible and at the same time we are ready to go through the hard times together with them. Most importantly, I am proud of every single person we have served. They have made TGH what it is today and will be tomorrow. The resilience, strength, and sweetness of every survivor and their relationship with TGH make me proud of being affiliated with TGH.

Cards created by TGH volunteers for victims of human trafficking

What’s next on-deck?

This is a tough question to answer for big dreamers like Josh and myself. For TGH, I see continuing to do what we do and continuing to learn the best way we can go about serving and loving on survivors. We are exploring expansion outside of the Richmond area, but we want to stay focused on doing what we do with excellence.

How can others get involved?

TGH has great partnerships with businesses and organizations and is always looking to increase the community network. We also rely on the support of trained volunteers to provide an array of services. Some include teaching different life skills, accompaniment to different activities, transportation, crisis response, as well as different administrative tasks for the general functions of the organization. Our work is made possible by volunteers and by the many generous people that support our mission financially. Lastly, we always encourage people that there is power in using their voice to simply educate those around them about this issue. The more people that know about it, the more we can identify victims, and more importantly, prevent it from happening.

How does your family feel about what you are doing?

Hmm…we have received a different array of thoughts during the past four years since we started. At the beginning some were “It is great what you are doing!” to “You are quitting your job? Which means you will have no health insurance” or “You don’t have to do this.” Now that we seem less crazy and probably look better nourished, we hear the “we are so proud of you”, “I love what TGH represents and how you love people”. We have a very supportive family, parents, siblings and extended family that have provided encouragement along the way and at the same were afraid for us to give up the job with benefits and safety net that it brings.

Andrea and Josh Bailey
Photo: Mary Otanez Photography

Thank you so much, Andrea for all you are doing for victims of human trafficking in Richmond, and beyond!

Want to get involved? Learn more about The Gray Haven Project and their mission by visiting their website at TheGrayHaven.org.

In a tone I’d never heard him use before (and haven’t heard him use since), a blend of tender concern and clear urgency, he yelled, “Honey, are you watching the news?” I quickly (well, as quickly as one can when maneuvering newborn twins with minimal body control) turned the television to Today on channel 12. Shots of a blazing World Trade Center North Tower filled the screen.In true Elizabeth Kubler-Rossian mode, my embarrassing, sleep-deprived first thought was that surely, the poor pilot must have been killed — entirely in denial that the hub of American business was undoubtedly populated with unsuspecting workers already seated at their desks for the morning.

The commentators were reporting the damage was likely caused by a small plane…perhaps a privately owned Cessna. Never, never did I think for a solitary second the inferno we were all beholding was an intentional impact. An intentional impact. Before that day, unimaginable.Minutes later, as we watched, the second plane, looking nothing like a Cessna, plowed headlong into the South Tower. From upstairs I screamed, “Honey! Someone needs to call the air traffic controllers in NYC! Somehow they’re misdirecting planes into the buildings…another one just hit! Another one just hit!”

Unaffected by the tag team of horror and twin-delivery intensified hormones, and nowhere near as naive as I, my husband knew to come upstairs and explain what was by then terrifyingly obvious to his — and most other Americans’ — eyes.

An attack, here in America.

Chaos and conflicting stories prevailed that morning. Tales of upwards of 50 planes unaccounted for and potentially in enemy hands. White powder delivered to government offices. Estimates of potentially 10,000 dead. Military planes being scrambled. The President was in Florida. The White House and Capitol were being evacuated. A third plane, and the Pentagon — less than 10 miles away from my childhood home — was in flames. The hijacked Flight 93 went down in Pennsylvania…charred earth the only remnant.

Within hours, New Yorkers rapidly produced flyers with photos of smiling dads, moms, sons and daughters that were hung all over the city. They were held aloft for the television cameras so that someone, anyone, might recognize the person pictured and provide the reassuring news so prayerfully sought. News that with each passing minute was increasingly unlikely to be heard. Hope-fueled optimism reigned – and slowly, against its will, waned — in the first 24, and 48, then 72 hours. The round-the-clock rescue efforts yielding way too few — hardly any — occupants for the recovery areas staffed and waiting nearby.

Those heartbreaking visuals and so many others from those days are seared forever in our minds.The disturbingly twinkly confetti-like papers afloat around the plane-pierced structures. The police and fire department vehicles with their sirens blaring and their heroes aboard, racing full-speed toward an area that survival instincts would reflexively demand one avoid. Stunned people in business suits running out of buildings. Onlookers screaming, hiding their eyes, pointing, praying, crying. Victims waving — and then beyond comprehension, actually leaping — from the facades of the burning buildings.

A personal video from the POV of being pulled into a coffee shop to escape the billowing cloud of collapse, with the audio of “thank you, thank you, thank you.” Al Qaeda training camp videos with hooded practitioners navigating overhead monkey bars. The iconic antenna atop WTC1 descending slowly into an expanding column of dust.

Then, new pictures.

Emerging from the horrific aftermath, a surge of patriotism. On our near-daily drives to the pediatrician’s office for twin baby weight checks, ever increasing numbers of flags hung outside homes, offices, stores and from car antennae. Business marquees no longer touted “Buy One, Get One Free” or “Help Wanted;” but instead, proclaimed “We Love You, New York,” “We Will Never Forget,” and “God Bless America.”

The most rote of routines became less mundane. 3000+ families started September 11th as if it were any other day. Re-evaluation of even the most miniscule, theretofore taken for granted aspects of day to day life seemed in order. As I dried myself after a shower, newly acquainted with the word “Taliban,” I couldn’t help but imagine how grateful an Afghani woman might be for my warm, thick towel. Something that could be used for far more virtuous purpose than merely wicking away the moisture from a freshly-clean new mother. An Afghan mother might have nothing in which to swaddle her newborn baby.

What if a woman in this horridly repressive culture had twins?

How were those women there envisioning our lives?

The concept and purpose of a burqua was (and is) difficult for me to understand. In those first days with our new babies, unashamedly, I found myself not only immodestly “uncovered,” but frequently bare from the waist up. Did that mean that I, a new mother of beautiful, pure, innocent twins, would be viewed as immoral? Whorish? Incomprehensible beliefs so varied from our own…felt so very passionately, that dispassionately, murderous evil could be enacted under the misguided assignation of martyrdom.

Vividly, I remember my thankfulness, that amongst so many other blessings — in positioning the twins to nurse, they were facing me…and not the future-altering images that filled the TV screen. As an adult, as an American, as a mother, it was my obligation to face those images…and to mourn with those who were mourning.

Yet amidst the devastation, the molten towers’ girders seemed to find reincarnate solidity in heroes whose stories began to emerge — and continue to emerge today.

Forever linked to our family’s personal history, Scott and I pay rapt attention annually to the documentaries, the interviews, the tributes. Each September, our emotions careen from giddy twin birthday celebrations on the 5th, to grave solemnity on the 11th. Then, we move on. Always remembering. Forever united, a family…micro and macro.

Gratitude. Grief. Grace.

We will always remember the events of 9-11.
Never forget.

Seems like only yesterday we were scouring the aisles of Walmart and Target, collecting crayons, handwriting practice paper with dotted central lines, Clorox wipes, and Germ-X by the gallon. Prized finds like a My Little Pony lunch box or a pocket folder with Doc Hudson from Cars would buoy our collective enthusiasm for the school year ahead.

This year, protractors, calculators and Spanish-English dictionaries found their way onto our supply list. Folders and lunchboxes of course are still needed, but the featured designs our two selected are far more “mature.” (Thankfully, not Miley Cyrus-mature, but less-“kiddie” to be certain.) Mandated binders with 3” rings indicate a predictably intensified workload.

Reminiscing and maternal mushiness aside, it is a time of revitalized excitement… new experiences and academic adventures await. Here are a few we’re looking forward to—or at the very least—getting ready for:

RIDING THE BUS
Plenty of little scholars master mass transit early in their educational career. Not us. Proximity to our elementary school allowed walking—on the rare occasion when got up early enough to do so. More often than not, Mom’s car-service (okay, you caught me, van-service) provided drop-off at our grade school’s front door.

Previously, our two had voiced a bit of bus envy; now’s their long-awaited chance to partake in those wheels that go “round and round.” The tweens on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down….

PLENTY OF PERIODS
(not the feminine hygiene product-requiring kind, although surely those will be on the rise in these next few years as well…)
Fourth and fifth grades included some cursory “class rotation,” but not the orchestrated extravaganza that will ensure that each student gets equal time in their accelerated subject pursuits. Go on, ring dem bells.

LEARNING THE LOCKERS
Cubbies go bye-bye. Time for secure storage of substantial scholarly tomes. Some sage wisdom we were grateful to receive (and implement): Get a combination lock and have your middle-schooler-to-be master it before the first day. Easing that between classes chaos with a bit of lock confidence—especially on that potentially stressful first day of school—might help them stand a little straighter, and maybe make some new friends when they help others conquer their combination anxiety.

LOSING LUNCHBOX LOVENOTES
As parents, we have made the decision our children will not have/do not need cell phones. (We’re actually optimistic their middle school won’t allow them anyway…) Texting our support to our scholars mid-day is not an option. My tyrannical stranglehold on superfluous tech is matched only by my desire to lavish love upon my little darlings when they’re “away.” Heretofore, a napkin note or positivity-laced Post-it frequently (okay, daily) found its way into each child’s lunchbox. With kindness, the request to halt the Hallmark moments has been made.

Face it, Mommy (or do we need to transition to “Mom?”). Your babies are growing up.

Hug ‘em hard in the morning and let them go….but only after getting that annual first day picture with backpacks on.

Editor’s Note: We want this to be a huge gift for both of these families and we’d love to know what good deeds you’re doing.  Add your good deed in the comments below this post and we’ll choose one winner at random to win a FREE overnight stay in a Family Suite at Great Wolf Lodge Williamsburg, must be used by 3/30/13.

Be sure and see how Midas is paying it forward – check the end of this article for details on how you can get involved.

Last year, our writer Cheryl Lage posted Take Action For an Angel. In it, she told of the loss of their family friend, Abbie Waters from cancer at age 9. She received an email from Abbie’s mom.

Abbie’s Mother Wrote . . .
“We have an idea for Abbie’s stocking this year. You know how she was all about friendship and her friends were/are her world. Well, if

Abbie Waters

you want to do a random act of kindness like letting someone in line ahead of you at Target, picking up a piece of litter, or just doing something extra for a friend or charity in Abbie’s name. . .”

We took the idea and ran with it . . .

and the response was incredible. People were doing everything from buying Starbucks for the person behind them in line to leaving gift cards on strangers’ car windshields.

This year, we have another angel, Michael whom our writer Meghan Mack featured in November’s Rainbow Around The Moon. We knew these two little angels had left such gaping holes in their families’ lives, we had to do this again.

Two angels. Many Opportunities. What can you do this holiday season to show a random action of kindness, in memories of these children, to pay it forward?

If during this holiday season you find a window wherein you can enact a morsel of niceness in remembrance of these children please make a note of it, and leave it in the comments below. We know that your unselfish act will inspire others. Watch out, kindness is contagious.

ADDITION TO ARTICLE: DECEMBER 10 – FROM MIDAS OF CENTRAL VIRGINIA

Mark Smith, owner of Midas of Central Virginia, has blessed lots of people with acts of kindess through the years. And now, he’s partnering with Richmondmom.com readers to identify a neighbor or friend who could use a helping hand. With so many people experiencing financial and personal difficulties right now, he is paying it forward by giving away a 2013 Car Care Package to someone who really needs the help.

Readers are asked to submit the name of a neighbor or friend who is experiencing difficulties and who could really benefit from a year’s worth of Midas Car Care.  This can be a person who is facing financial difficulties, the recent loss of a job, a medical crisis, or other unfortunate circumstances. The car care gift includes:

• 3 oil changes
• 1 state inspection sticker
• Up to $500 in repairs in 2013

Think about neighbors or friends you know and determine if anyone can truly benefit from this gift. Consider people who can really be helped the most with the gift.

1. Just click here to confidentially submit information about your nominee.
2. Submit your nomination no later than December 22, 2012.

Personal information will not be included in any articles or promotions (to protect the individual’s privacy.). We will randomly select one person to receive the generous car care package, complements of Midas of Central Virginia.We are grateful to Mark Smith and his team at Midas for making this possible. It’s a wonderful gift for someone who can really use a lift during the holidays.

Check them out here. Comment on our Facebook page and let us know your favorite posts of 2012 from Richmondmom.com too. We love to know what our readers think!

-Rainbow around The Moon by Meghan Mack

-Mom Arrested for Letting Her Kids Play Outside by Kate Hall

-Does Birth Order Matter? In My House, That’d Be a YES by Katie Mardigian

 -Letter to Working Moms by Nicole Unice

-The Benefits and Risks of Circumcision by Rhonda Day

-Are You a  Good Mom? by Alex Iwashyna

-Real Richmond Parents our collective group of amazing writers, always visited!

-What the Kerfuffle is Really About by Tara Casey

-The Little Engines that Could (Do the Chevy Road Trip Challenge) by Kate Hall

-A Girl Named Ib by Meghan Mack

-The Low-Down on Slushy Magic *as Seen on TV by Kate Hall

-Bigger Than Brackets, A Lesson in Loyalty by Cheryl Lage

-How Chick-fil-A Lost a Fan by Rachel Reynolds

-Fifty Shades of OMG by Kate Hall

source: blog.timesunion.com

With that in mind, you can imagine my shock, when after the keynote address at the Martin Agency’s 2010 “Take Your Kids to Work Day,” VCU Coach Shaka Smart and then team-standout, Joey Rodriguez, became frequent mentions in our day-to-day conversation. Their names came up at the dinner table, on the playground, even during Children’s Moment at church.

Then something magical happened. The very next year, Coach Shaka Smart and the VCU Rams made their heroic march to the NCAA Final Four. Suddenly, and surprisingly, the whole Lage family was glued to each game. We cheered aloud. We curled into the fetal position when scores got too close. We celebrated at the Carytown Sweet Frog with each victory, smiling broadly at—and with—our fellow city-proud neighbors.

Coach Smart’s youthful enthusiasm, teamwork focus, respectful demeanor and superlative sportsmanship made him a perfect example to discuss with our children those valuable (and in my opinion, too-infrequently exhibited) traits, especially in the world of televised sports.

Naturally, Richmonders weren’t the only ones assessing Shaka’s impressive skill-set. Rumors began circulating of pending offers. Two sets of prognosticators emerged. As I dubbed them, the “Half-Empties” who were confident the money dangled would be a sufficient and irresistible lure; and the other camp, the one in which we set up our tent, the “Half-Fulls,” those who felt Coach Smart’s palpable dedication and affectionate attachment to the Ram Nation would keep him and his family here in the Commonwealth. When NC State made their offer following last season’s Cinderella-esque success, Coach Smart, to our great delight, declined.

Source: vcuathletics.com

This season, with few returning players, the Rams yet again “surprised” those outside our city’s confines. The rumors resurged early, with Illinois (apparently, a very prominent team, and not solely the locale of the most recent Republican primary) leading the Shaka acquisition charge. The “Half-Empties” seemed to grow in number…especially in light of the alleged growing “number” Coach Smart would likely be offered. This week, the offer came…and went.

Coach Smart, thank you. Thank you not only for staying here in Richmond where we adore you and that for which you stand, but for providing an accessible illustration of priorities other than those solely financial. Havoc indeed! Our children have now learned via your example when you work hard, you can achieve something great— on your own terms, where you want to be, and be respected by your community and beyond.

Thank you for your faith in us, Coach Smart. Richmond will not let you down.

Image: VCUAthletics.com