I just can’t stop myself.
This is shoe porn, one of the raciest, sexiest of views brought to me by Ebay.
That shiny little yellow icon on my iPhone beckons me at that late hour, after the kids are bathed and in bed, the television hums in the livingroom, my glass of wine sits beside me on the coffee table. Click, tap, click, and it. is. mine.
The packages arrive at the door, which I’ve trained the kids to shuffle inside before he arrives home. What could you possibly have ordered? He asks.
Well, since you asked:
Shoes: I can find a great deal on shoes that I don’t need one bit would make my feet so much sexier, happier, and surely overall give me the lift (figuratively and literally) that I seek for daily fulfillment.
Did that listing just say FREE SHIPPING? Be still my beating heart. Buy It Now Button, Please.
Lego figurines: My boys have recently taken a break from their video game obsession to launch back into a Lego-assembly obsession which I happily support because surely it will aid their high-brow careers in engineeringintellectual development. Together, we bid the high-stakes in search of tough-to-locate Ninjago.
I know the names of waaaay too many Lego Ninjago figurines. But I win them for my kids, oh yes, I wiiiiiiiiin.
Oh, Michael, how I I love to win all of your finely-designed and inspired clothing at deeply-discounted prices.
Michael Kors: Hey, you don’t have to be Niki Minaj to rock MK on a daily basis, and eBay is one of the ways I can feed my Michael Kors dress obsession without taking out a second mortgage.
Toothbrushes:Yes, it’s a sexy existence I’m living, dolls. I recently ordered a swanky-fresh Sonicare Diamond-model toothbrush,
This is one of the cars I will never buy on eBay.
available only in dentist offices (although it specifically said “not for resale” I’m not afraid to buy the finest of dental tools on the black market.)
Cars: Yup, even bought cars on ebay. And sold ’em.
I could go on and on, but I’m sure you’re about to fall asleep (and here I am getting all excited!). See, it’s not just about the merchandise. It’s about the bidding. And the ease of it all, you know, being connected to my Paypal account. And the way that when I buy things, sellers give me little stars, I like the little stars that say that I’m a good buyer. And the little packages that show up at the front door. And my inner glee at the thought of securing the most fantastic deal in the simplest method available.
And the winning, it’s the winning that is the best of all, even if you do have to pay for your prizes.
