Be sure and schedule your "C" procedure!
It is time for a colonoscopy.
There, I’ve said it. And now, I have to go through with it.
Reaching the milestone of age 50 brings many new adventures in life — and colonoscopies are one of those “adventures”. Men and women age 50 should have a baseline colonoscopy, with a repeat procedure within 10 years if there are no signs of cancer with negative test results.
Most people consider a colonoscopy, or the “C” word, something that should not be spoken out loud or in public because it’s an ugly word.
My grandmother died of complications from colon and stomach cancer and I realize that a colonscopy is the gold standard for preventive screening when it comes to early detection. That’s why I dutifully had my first colonoscopy shortly after I turned 50. With a family history, that means I must now have a repeat colonoscopy, although it has not yet been 10 years since I got a good report.
Don’t get me wrong – I know it’s important and I am thankful there is a preventive screening for this disease, especially since I saw my grandmother suffer for so long. It’s not the procedure I worry about.
I just don’t want to prepare for it!
The nurses and doctors tell you the prep is not that bad. Of course, they tell you that – they aren’t the ones prepping! And of course, I see a doctor who does not like the new modern way of preparing for the procedure by only giving you pills. No, my doctor likes the good old-fashioned way of making sure your “pipes are squeaky clean”!
That means taking pills AND drinking some delicious “lemon flavored” drink that actually tastes like a glass of stale, imitation lemon loaded with buckets of salt, with a nasty after-taste. The label says “it’s a pleasant, refreshing citrus flavored drink” but trust me, it’s NOT!
Getting it past my lips is the challenge, and then keeping it down is the next challenge. After all, if it comes “back up”, it defeats the purpose – right?
Once this is done, you just sit and wait.
And wait in fear — because you can’t get too far from home “or else”. And while you’re bored and waiting, you also are not allowed to eat. You can just drink clear liquids and some Jello – as long as it is not red or orange (don’t ask why!). Then, you get to take those tiny little pills that look so harmless — but trust me, they pack a powerful punch so don’t veer too far from the “house” now for sure!
Bedtime brings another “prep procedure” that we won’t go into here. It’s way too graphic and this is a family-oriented website, rated “G”. Well, other than Kate’s reference to the stripper pole in a recent article. But most of you know about the dreaded “E” word that comes in the green and white box with the lovely plastic bottle.
The actual colonoscopy procedure is quite simple and the time in the hospital is actually relaxing. Putting on a hospital gown, lying in a cool, quiet room listening to music, and drifting off to sleep is actually quite pleasant. Once the drugs begin to take effect, it’s lights out!
Before you know it, the procedure is over and you’re headed home. It wasn’t bad at all and most people don’t remember anything about the actual procedure. They do, however, have nightmares and shudder when they recall the “prep” time.
Yes, colonoscopies are a necessary evil when it comes to preventive screenings and good health for men and women. Thank goodness a good report means it won’t have to be repeated for 5-10 years. It may just take that long to get over the preparation for this one.
If you are due for one and haven’t scheduled your colonoscopy, do it today. The preparation is really not that bad (since mine is over for a few years!) and the procedure is quick and painless. But most importantly, it’s a preventive screening that could save your life.
The HCA Virginia Health System has hospitals and facilities located throughout the Greater Richmond area where the procedure can be performed. Talk with your doctor and schedule your appointment — it will be over before you know it and you’ll feel better because you’re doing something to take care of yourself.
