Moms, ever feel like your children have suckled your memory away from you from conception onward?
Trust me when I say, you are so not alone.
Just this morning I was looking for my keys yet again because I can never remember where I left them, when suddenly standing there I couldn’t even remember what I was doing. Did I eat breakfast or was I going to get it? Was I going to check Kaleb’s school backpack or did I do that already? Was I looking for my phone?…long clueless pause…oh, yeah.. my keys! Sound familiar?
With all the chaos in the lives of many families this is all too common. Most often there is no pathologic reason for these memory hiccups. The simple fact is that we are being pulled in too many directions and something has got to give.
Your mind can only take so much before it needs a rest and time to process. As always our bodies give us signals like memory lapses to say…”TAKE A BREAK, MAMA!” So, what can you do to help improve your memory and overall state of well being?
First and foremost be sure you are getting plenty of rest, hopefully 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep per night. Now, I do realize for some of you with little ones this may not be realistic now, but that will change in time. Just do your best to share the load and alternate sleeping with your partner.
Second, fuel your body with healthy foods and limit caffeine, sugar, and refined processed foods that can interfere with your body’s own natural rhythm. You may feel energized with those 6 cups of Starbucks but in the long run too much coffee can create a mind altering effect. So keep it to 2-3 cups throughout the entire day. Eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains.
Third, take time for yourself! If you are a monthly reader you may start to see a theme. I cannot stress enough the importance of this. Many mothers suffer with feelings of guilt if they take time for themselves as if they are in some way neglecting their children or partners. This could not be farther from the truth.
When I had my first son I was the biggest martyr ever seen by mankind. I would respond to his every whim, go out of my way all day for him and his father, never take 5 minutes to even think about what I wanted or needed because all that mattered was being Kaleb’s mother and being the best mother in existence. Do you know where that got me? Well, if you guessed into a long battle with postpartum depression and constant feelings of worthlessness, you hit the nail on the head.
With my daily actions I showed that who I was and what I needed did not matter anymore, so they did not to anyone else. It was expected for me to cater to everyone else, meanwhile I had lost who I was. The Rebecca who had Sex in the City nights with girlfriends, went scuba diving with sharks, and loved to stand eyes closed with the wind blowing across her face during a storm… was gone.
Years later I was able to rediscover myself but it was not easy and the first steps were like a leap of faith off a very steep cliff. I have never regretted that leap, because now when my children look at me they don’t look through me anymore. They know their mother is happy and fulfilled, living out her dream, and I know I can now more effectively nurture their growth toward who they will become as they journey through life, leading by example.
With all of that said, there can be medical reasons like thyroid imbalance or anemia that would interfere with thought processes and memory, so be sure to have annual checkups with your primary care doctor to ensure all of those things are checked. Depression can greatly affect memory and concentration so if you think you may be depressed I implore you to get help; there is never a time when you should not ask for help if you need it. Knowing when to ask for help is a strength, not a weakness.
As always ladies, I will shout it form the mountain top…..TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF! If you don’t take care of yourself first you cannot take care of others. Taking care of your body, mind, and spirit will teach your children to do the same as they grow into accomplished fulfilled adults.
