D-I-V-O-R-C-E
It’s such an ugly word to many women.
To others, it’s a word they don’t understand.
And to others, it’s a beautiful word that reminds them of their opportunity to begin living a full and happy life again.
The subject of “divorce” is often whispered in dark corners, behind closed doors, or behind the keyboard. Many women find themselves ashamed to be divorced and believing that they have failed by not doing enough to keep it together. Although divorce is no longer the social stigma it once was, it is still a difficult situation for women dealing with such traumatic change in their lives.
After being married for 39 years this December, I know how blessed I am to be married to my best friend and a man who loves me for who I am. But I also know that many women suffer and endure years of pain during marriage no matter how hard they work at succeeding.
No one enters a marriage anticipating a divorce. But unfortunately, it happens more than we’d like to know.
Sarah was married for 15 years to her high school sweetheart. She and her husband had two beautiful children together and shared some wonderful times. They were both very successful in their professions. They worked to purchase a beautiful home and had considered purchasing a second vacation home in the near future.
But one day something changed.
Roger began to have more mood swings and seemed to take everything out on Sarah. “It was like I was suddenly a punching bag – sometimes it was just an overly hard knock on the shoulder, and at other times, it was a direct hit to my head or eye. The battering was just one thing to endure. The financial devastation from his over-spending and refusal to focus on priorities sent us into debt that eventually spun out of control. Credit card debt mounted but I couldn’t understand where all of the money was going. The harder I worked, the less we had. Many times I tried to confront my husband – but Roger never wanted to talk about what was happening, how to resolve issues, or face the facts. So our personal, financial, and emotional lives spiraled out of control and unhappiness overwhelmed me.”
Sarah’s story is not uncommon. She lived through years of unhappiness, fear, and anxiety. Being one-half of the breadwinning team for the family, she had made a significant investment in their marriage and their financial future together.
Fortunately, Roger never tried to physically abuse the children but his verbal abuse did eventually flow over into their world too. When their son didn’t perform as well as Roger expected during a football game, his cursing and yelling devastated his son. When their daughter came home from school crying because a friend had upset her, Roger berated her for being so weak and not being aggressive enough – leaving her even more upset and confused.
Their world imploded all around them each time Roger exploded about something.
Finally, Sarah knew that divorce was inevitable – no matter how hard it would be. Roger was no longer the man she had married and her only option was to save herself and her children from more torment – and possibly a worse fate. After months of struggling to free herself and begin divorce proceedings, she was finally on her way.
“Looking back, it’s like I’m looking at another woman. Another man. Another world. But then I remember that it was my life. I don’t know how it happened or how we got to that terrible place. But we did. I am so much stronger now and so much happier and healthier than I’ve ever been before. It wasn’t easy to move forward and rebuild my life with my children, but we did it and I’m proud of where we are,” Sarah reflects. “Without the help of a strong support network of women who understood what I had endured, I’m not sure how I would have made it.”
A recent story on Richmondmom.com, Broken, about a woman struggling with domestic violence, gave a voice to many who suffer at the hands of someone they once loved. Richmondmom.com has offered many articles that include resources and information for women facing divorce. Mediation, Marital vs. Separate Property, and Helpful Words from Women Who Have Been in Your Shoes are just some of the resources on our site.
Just like Sarah, many women are searching for the support and help they need. Now, there is an opportunity for women in the Richmond area to learn more about living happier after divorce. It’s a chance to hear stories from dozens of other women who know what it’s like – both before, during, and after divorce.
Living Happier After Divorce Book Author Begins Tour
New ‘Divorce Grief Handbook’ Author Announces Book Tour Event in Richmond, Va.
(Arlington, Va) Author Wilma Jones who was recently featured on “The Audrey Chapman Show” will begin her nationwide book tour at the Asbury Church Hill United Methodist Church in Richmond, VA Saturday, December 8 at 2:00 p.m. The author will speak about the story behind her new book, “Living Happier After: 20 Women Talk About Life After Divorce,” lead a discussion with readers followed by book signing and a meet-and greet.
In” Living Happier After: 20 Women Talk About Life After Divorce” women tell how they overcame the demise of their marriage and started living happier after their divorce. It’s specifically targeted to women who, alongside their husbands were, “bringing home the bacon and cooking it, too” when their lives fell apart. Dr. Audrey Chapman, nationally recognized relationship therapist, author and talk show host contributed the book foreword.
Living Happier After allows you to listen in as over 20 divorced women share their stories about how they got happier during the awful space immediately following separation. Women who overcame abuse, desertion, financial disaster, infidelity and more talk about their personal struggle and what it takes to overcome the end of a marriage and emerge living happier after.
Amazon reader reviews are very positive: “It is your own private group therapy session with powerful positive messages within every chapter!” “Divorce is almost as painful as death, yet Ms Jones’ book puts the topic into perspective. The stories, each unique in their unfolding, guide the reader to the river of all that is possible. This is a must-read for anyone in the early stages, but also validating for those of us who have made the choice to live happier after.”
Jones has become an expert in living happier after divorce, or any devastating life experience, thanks to the principles of Positive Psychology. Through an intensive period of reading and researching, including speaking with hundreds of people, surveying more than 100 women, and conducting in-depth interviews with more than 20 women, she confirmed what it takes to become healthy and happy after devastation.
Living Happier After: 20 Women Talk About Life After Divorce is available for purchase at Amazon.com in both paperback and Kindle formats, BarnesandNoblecom for the Nook, iPad and various outlets online. Readers are encouraged to get the book to participate in the discussion period. The Living Happier After Book Tour will travel to over 30 cities in 2013. Specific dates and locations will be posted at www.LivingHappierAfter.com on the Latest Info page.
