Baby Fever- Two Moms are Better than None

Guest Post by: Abby Waller


You know that craving for something you know would be so satisfying, so sweet that your cheeks are forced into a smile – like a perfectly ripe white nectarine, or a bite of raspberry sorbet? That’s what I feel every morning when I wake up and every night as I go to bed. For me though, the craving is something just out of reach.
Building for a while now, my wife and I have what some might call, “baby fever.” We both want a child, and have talked about it for years. We jokingly argue about whether to have one, or two (or three). We discuss names and pretend to pick out insanely cute baby clothes when shopping for boring stuff like toothpaste at Target. However, no matter how much we crave the addition of a little bundle of joy in our lives; until laws change in Virginia we’re left wanting.

As it stands, our marriage is not recognized by the Commonwealth. This means that we have to file our state taxes separately, we cannot enjoy each others health benefits, and we are not granted the same rights as other married couples to adopt a child. Similarly, if my wife gives birth to a child, I have no legal rights to it whatsoever. That’s right, in Virginia I cannot, legally, be the mother of my own child.
Not yet, anyway.

For now, we have to content ourselves with hanging out with this silly kid and being super fun aunts.
For now, we have to content ourselves with hanging out with this silly kid and being super fun aunts.

Last week something extremely exciting occurred. The 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals announced that it would not delay its ruling to strike down Virginia’s ban on same-sex marriage. Not surprisingly, opponents of same-sex marriage requested that the Supreme Court issue a stay to prevent marriage licenses from being issued staring August 21st at 8 a.m. Many believe the Supreme Court will indeed halt marriages from occurring because they have done so in similar instances. Marriage equality supporters all over Virginia hold their breath as we await the decision from the Supreme Court that will affect so many lives.

It’s my strong belief that even if the Supreme Court grants the delay of same-sex marriage in Virginia, marriage equality is the inevitable future. And, with the legal recognition of me and my wife’s marriage, also comes full parental rights. For us, nothing could be sweeter than this. We content ourselves with knowing that we’re just as worthy as anyone else out there, no matter what the law says. After all, what’s the most important thing parents can give to their children?

Love…and we have plenty to give.



This post was submitted by Abby Waller.  You can read Abby’s writing at ISpyRVA