WHAT Did You Just SAY??!!??
Have you ever had that moment of disbelief, when your child says something you know he knows better than to say? Something that just shocks you to no end? And then the question is how do you respond?
Let me set the stage: Respect is a non-negotiable in our household. We are a multi-cultural household that uses the Asian definition of respect. That means not only will our children never use our first names, but they also aren’t allowed to use slang when speaking with us. They are often told to “try that sentence again, with respect”; “Address the person before you start speaking”; “Don’t use yeah or yep – you say yes to Mom and Dad”. So imagine my shock when I am talking to my oldest son and letting him know that his laundry isn’t quite ready, but it should be finished by morning and he replies “It better be!”
I’m sure you can picture the fire that was coming out of my eyes as I said “WHAT did you just SAY??!?!?” I was so flabbergasted, I could barely speak. Did my child just speak to me like that? When he so obviously knows better? I’m sure the child psychologists would say he was testing his boundaries or asserting his independence, but that doesn’t change the shock and anger when you hear your child talk to you with such utter disrespect.
So what did I do? I sent him to bed, after ensuring he understood that I was going to address this later, and calmed down. Then, after I was able to think straight, I had to think through reasonable consequences. He needs to know his words have impact and he is responsible for the words he says. After talking to him about what he said and accepting his apology, I decided that he will do his own laundry for at least this week. May it work and may he realize he never wants to say something like that again.
