Why A Christmas Story is the best movie ever

You’ll shoot your eye out!

Come on, we’ve all wanted that one toy we were desperate for at Christmas that was totally inappopriate but for some reason topped our lists. And Ralphie was no different. But Christmas is all about breaking the rules, especially with giving. So. . .

Here are a few reasons I think A Christmas Story is the best movie ever:

1) I don’t encourage violence, but let’s be honest–every kid has just one bully they should throw a punch at–just to stop them in their tracks, and Ralphie does it with style to Scut Farkus.

2) Ralphie’s mom rocks. Instead of busting him for said throw-down with Scut, she chooses to save Ralphie’s hide by keeping the whole swearing-induced fist-fight under-wraps from his his dad. You go, girl.

3) The leg lamp. Every household should have one. Think of how happy dads everywhere would be! (Note: actual leg lamps are in plentiful supply on the interwebs.)

4) The gibberish that his dad spews. It cannot possibly harm the children because all that we hear are inaudible gutteral sounds spawned by his anger and frustration at daily life (possibly cause by need for #3). If every parent cursed like this instead of using actual swear words, the world may in fact be a better place.

5) The sheer joy of making a wish that comes true: when Ralphie cuddles his Red Ryder, “the best present he received or would ever receive.”

Someday, I hope to visit the original The Christmas Story house, now restored to glory. In the meantime, I’ll just continue to enjoy Ralphie and his antics, which remarkably resemble my middle kid, affectionately nicknamed “DevilBoy.” His behavior, like the movie, make for great laughs.