One of my favorite people in the world passed away yesterday: my favorite “Unc,” Dean Willoughby.
He was my father’s brother, and since my father died when I was fifteen, was always sort of a father-figure to me. We bridged the miles from his home in Florida to mine in Virginia with occasional emails, calls, and an annual visit or two.
I sent him pictures of the kids on Facebook and through email and sent letters and always made a point to visit him, even with my college roomies on spring break one year, much to my roommate’s surprise. He was just that kind of person that was magnetic, loveable, and was sort of the glue that held our very scattered and distant family together.
I was talking to a friend last night about him, telling her all about him and how he had cancer for a few years and it had continually worsened, and how I had literally just hit the send button purchasing flights for my brother and I to see him one last time before he passed away when the phone call came that we were too late. And how I was mad at myself for not telling him that I loved him more.
He was a super-intuitive person, uber family-centric, full of snark with a sense of humor that could easily get my goat which was always his goal (I won’t mention the jokes here to protect the innocent).
He served in the US Navy for four years, worked for Lockheed Aircraft and Martin Marietta and on Titan Missle Program launch & Apollo 8 on Cape Canaveral, but he’d tell you that his biggest accomplishment was his three children, his wife of 47 (ish?) years and the slew of grandchildren who adored him.
And it’s pretty sad that my whole job is communicating and I really didn’t take the time that I should have to communicate enough to him how much he meant to me: the stories about when we were little, how much our dad loved us, and how proud of us he was will not be forgotten.
So I’ll just ask that you take a moment to tell someone you care about that you love them, and if you need to, to take that flight today. . .don’t wait.
About Kate Hall
Hi Kate–So sorry for your loss. I'm sure your uncle knew just how very much you loved and admired him! Take peace in that and be proud of the wonderful tribute you have just written for him. Thinking of you-Alyson
My thoughts are with you and your whole family, Kate. I'm sure he knew- you are so great at showing that to everyone, but I think that it's such an important thing to remember. We never regret going, or calling, or taking that flight, but how many times do we wish we had done more? It's so important to do everything we can to show those we love how much we care, whenever we can.
Kate,
I am so sorry for your loss, but you have such wonderful memories to share. Your uncle knew how much you loved him because you showed him in more ways than you realize. Those we hold dear will always be in our hearts.
So sorry for the huge loss your feeling right now. Sounds as if he was an Amazing Man with tons of character. Your words…Take the Flight …are so meaningful! Thanks for sharing.
This piece was so beautiful and I know Gramps would have loved it. You've portrayed him so well that I find myself recalling old memories and my eyes are no longer dry. And he knows how much he meant to you and he loved you as well. He loved everyone in his family, because to him the family was his world and he was ours.
Trust me, Kate – he knew. And I'm sure he treasured you for…well, the treasure that you are. When my folks died, 29 days apart, back in '02 I worried that they might not have known how very much they meant to me. I realized quickly that they did, given the amount of time we were lucky enough to spend together, even when we were separated by thousands of miles – a constant condition in the lives of military AND news families. Of which we were both. You and your uncle are in my thoughts, and you now have him storming heaven on your behalf. Lucky girl.
So sorry for your loss. Beautiful post.