Pregnant in Richmond – Happy Hour

One of my favorite things about my job is happy hour. I love the people I work with and they love hanging out after work. At least once a week they all meet up for drinks. I say they, not we because, since I got pregnant, I have not been going.  I told myself  that it just wouldn’t be as fun. I can’t drink, so what? I’ll just sit there and watch everyone else enjoy? That’s not really all that fun to me. But honestly, the more I think about it, the more I think that I’m not going because I don’t want to get The Look. You now, the one from that woman at the bar that says “Oh. My. God. A PREGNANT woman? In a bar?? Way to poison your unborn child you unfit mother!”

But it’s water, not vodka! I swear!

I get the same look at Starbucks. Because no, I don’t drink alcohol but I do drink coffee. I couldn’t get through workdays and evenings alone with my two year old without it. “Caffeine?! Doesn’t she know studies are inconclusive about what caffeine does to your fetus?” I think the effects of me without caffeine on some days might be worse. But I’m not going to find out. Cost vs. benefit here.

So a week ago I decided I would brave the looks, flaunt my belly and hang out with my friends. In a bar. And it was totally cool and worth it. I think its worse to not continue my “normal” that keeps me sane and happy just to avoid a stare here or there. Being pregnant doesn’t mean your life is over, or you have to change everything you do. You’ll be faced with a lifetime of changes  and new “normals” once the baby comes.  Keeping yourself happy and relaxed and surrounded by supportive friends is just as important as eating well and taking your prenatals.

Plus, I tell myself, those stares?  They’re just admiring how awesome I look at 9 months pregnant. And all I had was iced tea.

Amy Lavelle

Amy Lavelle, PhD, toLabor trained Professional Doula offering Birth Doula Services for the Richmond area. Amy has worked in the biotechnology industry since 2001 but left to receive her PhD in Human and Molecular Genetics from VCU/MCV in 2009 ( and gave birth to her daughter two weeks later) and then returned to work for a contract research organization. In her "free" time she volunteers as the chair for Richmond Doulas and on the Leadership team for Birth Matters VA - Richmond.

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