By Alex Iwashyna, blogger at Late Enough
The holidays are coming up and we all know that means PICTURES! And GIFTS! Oh yes, and family, love and joy.
But love and joy isn’t as much of a worry as PICTURES! because in this day and age, a photo isn’t just sitting on a roll of film until it’s rediscovered in June and printed into a 4×6 eventually stuck behind a clear plastic sheet inside a paisley photo album (mom).
Today, a good (or not so good) picture is texted to 30 of our closest friends, facebooked to the other 412 and probably tweeted, blogged and posted on flickr within ten minutes of the flash.
So I turned to my children to help me illustrate FOUR TIPS on how to stay out of the spotlight during this season of blackmail and joy:
1) If you wear your underwear outside your pants, you will be facebooked:
My daughter is so cute and fashionable.
Except your caption reads: My granny really does wear granny panties. {sigh} And no, three whisky sours does NOT make her Superwoman no matter how much whisky she put her mug.
2) If you remove your clothing in 40 degree weather, you will be tweeted:
My son is so curious and warm-blooded.
Except your caption reads: I googled polar bear clubs, and Uncle Jay doesn’t qualify because jumping INTO MY POOL. And if he successfully convinces Aunt Jenny to join him, I am calling the police. AGAIN.
3) If you wear a winter hat, pajamas and rain boots to Christmas dinner, you will be blogged.
You go girl!
Except your caption reads: Cousin Mindy? It’s not raining, Hello Kitty is for children and I know those aren’t pants because I bought a pair from Target in the LINGERIE SECTION. Can someone please tell me that I’m adopted…
4) If you try to fake your death to get out of another family gathering, you will end up on flickr:
Dead.
Except your caption reads: NICE TRY ALEX.
In summary: keep your shirt on, your undies in and your animal anime at home.
Oh and don’t forget to let my family know how dead I am!
Happy Holidays!
Alex Iwashyna blogs at Late Enough mostly about life, parenting, marriage, zombies, culture, religion and her inability to wake up in the morning and not hate everyone. She also facilitates a local moms group called Nobody Told Me! (because OBVIOUSLY). Feel free to find her on Facebook, the Twitter (@L8enough), Flickr or StumbleUpon. But don’t call. She’s NOT a phone person.
About Alex @LateEnough
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