The Penn State Scandal Means We Must Say Hard Things

NicoleUnice

By Nicole Unice

Thanks to Nicole Unice for this wonderful post about the Penn State situation. She has done a great job of providing insights and tips on teaching our children to watch out for predators in the wake of this enormous human tragedy.

What won’t happen after the Penn State Scandal: 

Predators won’t stop.

Pedophiles won’t disappear.

And good men won’t stop loving children.

So if the answer isn’t hiding our children away until they are adults, or keeping our children away from all men (see my thoughts on that here) then what do we do? How do we as parents, as youth workers, as ministry leaders, respond to the reality that evil is real and prevalent and not going anywhere?

In 2006, the porn industry was a more than 27 BILLION dollar industry.

In a recent TED talk, Phillip Zimbardo noted that almost 11,000 porn films are made per year, as compared to 600 Hollywood films. Sexual perversions and depravity aren’t going anywhere. So what do we do?

I have a nine year old son. My heart breaks and my stomach goes into the spin cycle when I think about his innocence being stripped away and his spirit and body being violated. So this is what I do, as a mom and a counselor and a ministry leader who knows that it is worse to get all Pollyanna and pretend this world isn’t evil than it is to have awkward and stilted conversations with my kids.

I buy and read this book, starting when they are in preschool. My Body Belongs to Me is a great resource that gives parents a great start on approaching this conversation with dignity and honesty.

I expect my kids to be influenced by those in power. I don’t expect them to be able to stand up to coaches, leaders, teachers, and babysitters. So I tell them that we don’t keep secrets between adults and them. And I say things that embarass me to my babysitters, but I remind them “don’t leave them alone with anyone else.”

I ask them pointed questions. I teach them that it’s OK to say no to adults, even if it’s just because they don’t like being tickled. And I tell them again. And again.

We say things that are hard. We stumble forward awkwardly. We look at each other, husband/wife, mother/father, and we shrug about this world. And we decide that despite the difficulty, we will choose honesty and hard questions. I resolve to say hard things to my kids, to my friends. To the young people I lead. Even if I seem overbearing or overprotective or scared. I’ll do it anyway.

So do it. Talk to your kids. Watch out for your friend’s kids. Don’t be afraid to say the hard things. It is everyone’s responsibility to care for the weak and innocent among us.

And pray, please. That God could bind up the wounds of the brokenhearted and resurrect life, even in places of true death.

Psalm 82:4-8

Rescue the poor and helpless; deliver them from the grasp of evil people.But these oppressors know nothing; they are so ignorant! And because they are in darkness, the whole world is shaken to the core. I say, ‘You are gods and children of the Most High. But in death you are mere men. You will fall as any prince, for all must die.’” Rise up, O God, and judge the earth, for all the nations belong to you.