I think my dad will sleep like a baby in jail!
Caregiving is a challenging and stressful responsibility.
Whether you’re providing care for an aging parent who lives close or far away, it is difficult on everyone involved. Unfortunately, many elderly adults often do not receive the services and benefits they deserve and need.
My father is suffering from a variety of problems including a broken shoulder, periodic TIAs (mini-strokes), and a benign brain tumor pressing on his brain. He needs ongoing care and support to help him with daily personal care, meals, medication management, housekeeping, financial management, and more.
I live 3 hours from him although I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters who live very close to him. We all share responsibility for caregiving in different ways.
But now, I have the perfect answer to the situation.
We will have him put in jail!
I’ve given this a lot of thought and here are the reasons I think this will work.
While in jail, he will receive:
- Free room and board
- 24 hour monitoring and surveillance to ensure his safety
- Immediate response if he attempts to leave his room unassisted during the night or day
- Meals and snacks delivered
- His own private “room” with a built-in toilet
- Free prescriptions
- Free dental and medical treatment when needed
- Wheelchairs and other equipment to make it easier to get around
- Handicapped ramps and facilities
- Daily showers
- An enclosed, safe outdoor space for walking and exercise
- Clean bedding twice each week
- Clean, ironed clothes weekly
- Security guards to check on him every 15-20 minutes
- Family visits in a visitation room designed for comfort
- Exercise and fitness facilities
- Spiritual and religious counseling and support
- Educational resources
- A library
- TV, radio and computer access
- Free admission to in-house movies and live entertainment
- Payment for performing simple tasks for the “community”
- A board of directors to listen to concerns and ensure there is no neglect or mistreatment (ACLU)
- Uniformed aides for easy identification
- Free access to legal counsel if needed
- Activities and social gatherings with other “residents”
I think this will work!
As for the criminal he displaces in the jail, he will be transferred to a local nursing home where he will receive:
- Cold food
- Unsupervised care
- Showers once a week
- Tiny rooms for only $5,000 monthly
- Overworked staff
Yep, I think it will work.
Now, if I can just get my sisters and brothers on-board with this!
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