A Different Sort of Family: 13 Years Age Difference for this Blended Family

I had just started a new job when I met “the one.”

There were so many things working against us when we met. For starters, he was the Director of Human Resources and had hired me just a few months prior. Something about that didn’t seem right. The Human Resources Director? Wanted to take me on a date? Was this some sort of trick to see if I actually went with him, thus putting my job in jeopardy?

Not to mention I had heard him talking about his two sons several times over the course of the previous 2 months. Sons? Teenage sons? Two of them? Most twenty-something women would run fast.

And, lastly, I guessed that he was about 8 years older than me. Turns out he is 13 years older. I promised myself I would never date more than 10 years older. He promised himself he would never date 10 years younger.

So how did we get past all these things working against us?

Really, it was very easy. We fell in love within weeks of our first date. We didn’t care there were so many things working against us. When you love each other, those things don’t matter.

Within a month of meeting his sons, I had built a strong relationship with them, chatting on the phone, offering advice, and joking around. That was really important to both Michael and me. If his kids didn’t get along with me, why would he want me in their lives? And if I didn’t get along with his kids, why would I want to hang around for….ever?

Fast forward 2 and a half years. I am walking down the aisle, giddy to marry my soul mate, smiling at him and the boys I’ll call my stepsons in a matter of minutes. I knew I was making the best decision of my life.

Our family just…works. There have been many nights I’ve stayed up helping the boys with a homework project. Or going to Back to School nights and teacher conferences. Or, the dreaded part of parenting, teaching them when they have done something wrong.

Did I ever imagine I would be doing that at the age of 27? No, of course not. But I wouldn’t change it for the world.The night my oldest stepson graduated from high school, I was excited for us to take him out to dinner and spend some time together. Right after graduation, he asked to go to a friend’s house for a small get-together. It broke my heart he wanted to leave us for the evening. It took me by surprise that I was so upset about this.My husband and I don’t reflect on our age difference. We mesh perfectly together, so why does it matter there are a few years between us? It’s irrelevant. When you love each other, age is just a number. And even though my husband is very smart and talented, I know for a fact he would (begrudgingly) admit I’ve taught him quite a bit along the way, too.

As for my stepsons, I love them as if they were my own. And I think they trust me and look to me for advice. In fact, I know they do. In the beginning, I was worried they would never look to me for guidance. It’s been quite the contrary, though. I think they appreciate my advice because I’m not that much older than them, and I’m able to offer a different perspective.

To this day, people are very inquisitive about our relationship. How is my relationship with his sons? How well do we get along with the in-laws? Do my parents interact with my stepchildren as if they were their own grandchildren? The simple fact is, this is normal for us. We may not have a “traditional” family, but I’ve never been a traditional girl anyway, so I can’t imagine it any other way.